Me: "Alexa check my bank balance and tell me which apple product can I buy?"
Alexa- "Apple juice."
What do you call a cup of leaf juice that doesn’t want to be a dad?
Absent-tea parent.
Why is it harder for Orange Juice to slide across a floor than apple juice?
Pulp Friction.
how do you convince meat juice out of a bovine?
You consomme out of him.
What if someone made raisins with juice in them
That would be grape.
You had to use rennet to curdle the milk for making Ricotta, not lemon juice!
This is not the right whey.
One day, a young weasel went to the bar. The bartender took one look at him and says, “You are under-aged. I can’t serve you beer.” The weasel asks, “What can I have?”
The bartender replies, “I have bottled water, juice, energy drinks, and pop.”
“Pop!” goes the weasel.
The orange juice industry is not doing very well.
Tomorrow they will give a special press release.
I once had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of carbonated orange juice.
Thankfully it was just a fanta sea.
I lost 90 pounds in 30 days on the juice diet
Every day I bought one juice for 3 pounds.
What do you call juice with no ice in it?
Ju.
What do you call a mislabeled orange juice container?
Pulp fiction.
Wife dropped a jar of pickles upon opening the fridge; glass and pickle juice went all over the kitchen floor.
Me: Don't worry, it's not a big dill.
I replaced the milk in the milk carton with lemon juice.
People were really sour about it.
A boy lines up to get some apple juice and a girl lines up to get some orange juice
This would be funny but there’s no punchline.
I can't use my laptop anymore because someone spilled apple juice on it.
It was a cider attack.
Why wasn't the bag boy allowed to work at the juice bar?
Because baggers cant be juicers.
Every December, I really like making an emulsion of egg yolks, melted butter and lemon juice.
So its guaranteed to be a Happy Hollandaise
I got canned from a Orange juice factory...
Just couldn't concentrate.
Why did the orange become juice?
It couldn't handle the pressure.
Why is it called Almond Milk?
Because no one would buy it if it was called Nut Juice.
What’s Another Name For iPhone Chargers?
Apple Juice.
I was asked why I love to clean lemon juice from windows, to which I replied
“It’s easy peasy lemon squeegee.”
My doctor recommended exercise to slim down as well as some orange juice for vitamins
It’s the weight and C approach I guess.
What did the lemon juice say to the baking soda?
Ya basic!
What do you call it when 13 preschoolers have just had their juice?
A Daycare's Buzzin'.
My dog is sad after eating her favorite fruit and getting wet from the juice.
She's a watered melancholy watermelon collie.