Patient: "Nurse im suffering from bacon disease!" Nurse: "Baloney"
Did you hear about the policeman who tried to make love to a bacon slicer?
He had a tip off.
Why should you bake bacon on an asteroid on its way to Earth ?
It's meteor.
What do you call a pig thats wrong? Mistaken bacon.
What are pig criminals known for? Pigpockets.
I don’t know who became more famous, Sir Francis Bacon or his son
Chris P. Bacon
What did the boy bacon say to the girl bacon? Girl, you're bacon my heart melt.
Why do communist hate bacon?
Because it’s from capitalist pigs.
How is bacon like southern Europe?
It's got a lot of Greece in it.
when I smelled breakfast in the morning it was bacon me eggcited.
What would happen if pigs could fly? The price of bacon would go skyrocket.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede? Bacon and Legs.
What do pigs drive? Pigup trucks.
What do you call a pig that can tell you about his ancestors? History in the bacon.
What do you call a bacon wrapped dinosaur? Jurrasic Pork.
Why did the pig kill the farmer? To save his own bacon.
Did you hear about the butcher who sat on his bacon slicer?
He got a little behind in his deliveries.
My car smelled like bacon when I got home.
My porking brake was on.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a chicken? The best bacon-and-eggs of your life.
Why was the meat packer arrested? For bringing home the bacon.
My doctor tells me I've got a bacon addiction.
Thankfully he thinks I can be cured.
Why do pigs go to New York City? To see the Big Apple.
How do you keep bacon from curling in the pan?
You take away their little brooms
Whats the name of the movie about Bacon? Frankenswine, or you can go see Hamlet.
If you can't get Swine Flu from eating bacon what can you get? A1: Obesity A2: Heart Disease A3: Hardening of the Arteries.
What do you call bacon with salt on it
Salt and Peppa
Which actor is now being quarantined for Swine Flu? Kevin Bacon
Why did the pig go into the kitchen? He felt like bacon.
Whats green and smells like bacon? Kermit the Frog's finger! Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?
Bacon and eggs walk into a bar.
They take their seat and ask the bartender for two draft beers.
The bartender looks at them and says “sorry guys, we don’t serve breakfast here.”
I dressed up as bacon for halloween.
To say the least, i was looking pretty CRISP.
My wife asked me this morning "Do you want a bacon omelette?"
I said "No, I'd rather fry one."
Why didn't the drunk Mexican druglord find the Bacon Tree? Because he walked into a Ham Bush!
What did bacon say to tomato? Lettuce get together.
What do you call real bacon?
Genuswine