What kind of cat always crosses the road?
A jaguar.
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello from the other side!
Why did the horse dance while crossing the road?
He was horsing around.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was playing Fetch with a boomerang.
Why did the czar cross the road?
To get to his car.
Why did the Communist wait till the last minute to cross the road?
He was Stalin.
Why did the monkey cross the road?
Because the chicken retired.
Why couldn't the mathematician cross the road?
Because he kept trying to half the distance.
Why didn’t the bicycle cross the road?
Because it was two tired!
Why did the queen cross the road?
To get to coronation street.
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
What did the buffalo say when his son crossed the road?
-Bison.
How many birds can cross the road?
Toucan.
Why did the doctor cross the road?
Hard to say really. Could be any number of reasons.
Why did the goldfish cross the road?
Because the chicken was on holiday.
Why did the alphabet cross the road?
To get from Point A to Point B.
Why did the reindeer cross the road?
Because he was tied to a chicken!
A Duck is about to cross the road. A chicken runs out to stop him screaming "Don't do it, man - you'll never hear the end of it!"
Why did the cow cross the road?
So he could go to the MOO-vies.
Why did the duck cross the road?
Because it thought it was a chicken.
Why did the sheep cross the road?
To get to the baa-baa shop for a haircut.
Why is everyone mad when the pig crosses the road?
Because he’s a road hog.
Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
Why did my wife cross the road?
To go back to the same shoe shop we went to three hours ago.
Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn’t have the guts.
How long did it take Lancelot to cross the road?
All knight.
Why did the clock cross the road?
It couldn’t wait.
Why did the raccoon cross the road?
He saw you put out the garbage.
Why does the tin keep crossing the road?
Because it can.
Why did the lion cross the road?
He was bored of lion around.
Why did the clown cross the road?
To retrieve his rubber chicken.
Why did the zebra cross the road?
Because it was a zebra crossing.
Which bug always crosses the road?
A beetle.
Why did Hans cross the road alone?
Hans wanted to travel solo.
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get out of the barking lot.
Why did the toddler cross the road?
He wanted to pet the chicken.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t chicken!
Why did the spy cross the road?
Because he was never on your side.
Why did the pillow cross the road?
It was picking up the chicken’s feathers.
Why did the engineer cross the road?
Because he looked in the files, and that’s what they did last time.
Why did the bunny cross the road?
To go to the hare dresser.
Why did the elephant cross the road?
The chicken couldn’t be bothered anymore.
Why did the rabbit cross the road?
It had to get from hare to there.
Why did the corn cross the road?
Because it was being stalked.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He had something to cock-a-doodle dooo!
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was Thanksgiving Day, and it wanted people to think it was a chicken!
Why did the coyote cross the road?
It was chasing the road runner.
Why did the cat cross the road?
Because her owner told her not to do it.
Why didn’t the flamingo cross the road?
Because he’s not a chicken.
How did the sheep cross the road?
It ram across.
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