Why did the monkey cross the road?
Because the chicken retired.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station.
Why did the queen cross the road?
To get to coronation street.
Why did the farmer cross the road?
To get his chicken back.
Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn’t have the guts.
How long did it take Lancelot to cross the road?
All knight.
Why did the duck cross the road?
Because it thought it was a chicken.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t chicken!
Why did the clown cross the road?
To retrieve his rubber chicken.
Why did the toddler cross the road?
He wanted to pet the chicken.
Why did the coyote cross the road?
It was chasing the road runner.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was Thanksgiving Day, and it wanted people to think it was a chicken!
Why did the corn cross the road?
Because it was being stalked.
How did the sushi cross the road?
It was rolling.
Why didn’t the bicycle cross the road?
Because it was two tired!
What did the buffalo say when his son crossed the road?
-Bison.
Why did the wolf take so long to cross the road?
It was pretending to be a snail.
Why does the tin keep crossing the road?
Because it can.
What kind of cat always crosses the road?
A jaguar.
Why did the nose cross the road?
Because he was tired of getting picked on.
Why did the snail take so long to cross the road?
It was feeling sluggish.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was playing Fetch with a boomerang.
Why did the spy cross the road?
Because he was never on your side.
Why did the raccoon cross the road?
He saw you put out the garbage.
Why did Chuck Norris cross the road?
He didn’t — the road moved back underneath him.
Why did the dog cross the road?
Because he was chasing the chicken.
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get out of the barking lot.
Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He had something to cock-a-doodle dooo!
Why couldn't the mathematician cross the road?
Because he kept trying to half the distance.
Why did the Communist wait till the last minute to cross the road?
He was Stalin.
Why did the monster truck drive on the sidewalk?
Because he didn’t want to run over the chicken!
Why did the rabbit cross the road?
It had to get from hare to there.
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
Why did the elephant cross the road?
The chicken couldn’t be bothered anymore.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens didn’t exist yet.
Why did the potato run across the road?
So it wouldn’t get mashed.
How did the sheep cross the road?
It ram across.
Why did the dragon cross the road?
He was dragged on by his mum.
How do animals know when to cross the road?
The chameleon changes from red to green.
How many birds can cross the road?
Toucan.
Which bug always crosses the road?
A beetle.
Why did the fish cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Why did the zebra cross the road?
Because it was a zebra crossing.
Why did the czar cross the road?
To get to his car.
Why did the clock cross the road?
It couldn’t wait.
Why did the horse dance while crossing the road?
He was horsing around.
Why did the fish cross the road?
To get to its school.
Why did the horse cross the road?
To get to the apple store.
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