Why did the cat cross the road?
Because her owner told her not to do it.
How did the sheep cross the road?
It ram across.
How long did it take Lancelot to cross the road?
All knight.
Why did the dog cross the road?
Because he was chasing the chicken.
Which bug always crosses the road?
A beetle.
Why did the alphabet cross the road?
To get from Point A to Point B.
Why did the man with one hand cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop.
Why did the monkey cross the road?
Because the chicken retired.
Why did the fish cross the road?
To get to its school.
Why did the queen cross the road?
To get to coronation street.
Why does the tin keep crossing the road?
Because it can.
Why did the horse dance while crossing the road?
He was horsing around.
Why did the toddler cross the road?
He wanted to pet the chicken.
Why did the lion cross the road?
He was bored of lion around.
Why didn’t the flamingo cross the road?
Because he’s not a chicken.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Why did the cow cross the road?
So he could go to the MOO-vies.
Why did the coyote cross the road?
It was chasing the road runner.
Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
Why did the nose cross the road?
Because he was tired of getting picked on.
Why did the Communist wait till the last minute to cross the road?
He was Stalin.
What did the buffalo say when his son crossed the road?
-Bison.
Why did the potato run across the road?
So it wouldn’t get mashed.
Why did the wolf take so long to cross the road?
It was pretending to be a snail.
Why did the snail take so long to cross the road?
It was feeling sluggish.
Why did the raccoon cross the road?
He saw you put out the garbage.
Why couldn't the mathematician cross the road?
Because he kept trying to half the distance.
Why did the sheep cross the road?
To get to the baa-baa shop for a haircut.
Why didn’t the bicycle cross the road?
Because it was two tired!
Why did the czar cross the road?
To get to his car.
Why did the corn cross the road?
Because it was being stalked.
Why did the duck cross the road?
Because it thought it was a chicken.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was playing Fetch with a boomerang.
Why did the clock cross the road?
It couldn’t wait.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was Thanksgiving Day, and it wanted people to think it was a chicken!
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t chicken!
A Duck is about to cross the road. A chicken runs out to stop him screaming "Don't do it, man - you'll never hear the end of it!"
Why did the goldfish cross the road?
Because the chicken was on holiday.
Why did the spy cross the road?
Because he was never on your side.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station.
Why did the pillow cross the road?
It was picking up the chicken’s feathers.
Why did Hans cross the road alone?
Hans wanted to travel solo.
Why is everyone mad when the pig crosses the road?
Because he’s a road hog.
Why did the reindeer cross the road?
Because he was tied to a chicken!
How many birds can cross the road?
Toucan.
Why did the fish cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get out of the barking lot.
Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn’t have the guts.
Why did the horse cross the road?
To get to the apple store.
Why did my wife cross the road?
To go back to the same shoe shop we went to three hours ago.
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