Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was playing Fetch with a boomerang.
Why did the potato run across the road?
So it wouldn’t get mashed.
Why did the cat cross the road?
Because her owner told her not to do it.
Why did the man with one hand cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop.
Why did the monkey cross the road?
Because the chicken retired.
Why did the duck cross the road?
Because it thought it was a chicken.
A Duck is about to cross the road. A chicken runs out to stop him screaming "Don't do it, man - you'll never hear the end of it!"
Why did the snail take so long to cross the road?
It was feeling sluggish.
Why didn’t the flamingo cross the road?
Because he’s not a chicken.
Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn’t have the guts.
How long did it take Lancelot to cross the road?
All knight.
Why did the bunny cross the road?
To go to the hare dresser.
Why is everyone mad when the pig crosses the road?
Because he’s a road hog.
Why did the dragon cross the road?
He was dragged on by his mum.
Why did the wolf take so long to cross the road?
It was pretending to be a snail.
Why didn’t the bicycle cross the road?
Because it was two tired!
Why did the monster truck drive on the sidewalk?
Because he didn’t want to run over the chicken!
Why did the fox cross the road?
She was chasing the chicken.
Why did the toddler cross the road?
He wanted to pet the chicken.
How many birds can cross the road?
Toucan.
Why did the reindeer cross the road?
Because he was tied to a chicken!
Why did the farmer cross the road?
To get his chicken back.
Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
How did the sheep cross the road?
It ram across.
Why did the queen cross the road?
To get to coronation street.
Why did the Communist wait till the last minute to cross the road?
He was Stalin.
Why did the clown cross the road?
To retrieve his rubber chicken.
Why did my wife cross the road?
To go back to the same shoe shop we went to three hours ago.
Why did the doctor cross the road?
Hard to say really. Could be any number of reasons.
Why does the tin keep crossing the road?
Because it can.
What kind of cat always crosses the road?
A jaguar.
Why did the horse cross the road?
To get to the apple store.
Why did the coyote cross the road?
It was chasing the road runner.
Which bug always crosses the road?
A beetle.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was Thanksgiving Day, and it wanted people to think it was a chicken!
Why did the zebra cross the road?
Because it was a zebra crossing.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t chicken!
Why did the cow cross the road?
So he could go to the MOO-vies.
Why did the lion cross the road?
He was bored of lion around.
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