Why couldn't the mathematician cross the road?
Because he kept trying to half the distance.
Why did the spy cross the road?
Because he was never on your side.
Why did the Communist wait till the last minute to cross the road?
He was Stalin.
Why did the clown cross the road?
To retrieve his rubber chicken.
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get out of the barking lot.
Why did the monkey cross the road?
Because the chicken retired.
Why did the wolf take so long to cross the road?
It was pretending to be a snail.
Why did the czar cross the road?
To get to his car.
Why did the clock cross the road?
It couldn’t wait.
Why did the cow cross the road?
So he could go to the MOO-vies.
Why did the fish cross the road?
To get to its school.
Why did the horse dance while crossing the road?
He was horsing around.
Why did the farmer cross the road?
To get his chicken back.
Why did the dog cross the road?
Because he was chasing the chicken.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was playing Fetch with a boomerang.
Why did the zebra cross the road?
Because it was a zebra crossing.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t chicken!
Why did the fox cross the road?
She was chasing the chicken.
Why did the engineer cross the road?
Because he looked in the files, and that’s what they did last time.
Why did my wife cross the road?
To go back to the same shoe shop we went to three hours ago.
Why did the elephant cross the road?
The chicken couldn’t be bothered anymore.
Why did the corn cross the road?
Because it was being stalked.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was Thanksgiving Day, and it wanted people to think it was a chicken!
Why did the bunny cross the road?
To go to the hare dresser.
Why didn’t the flamingo cross the road?
Because he’s not a chicken.
What did the buffalo say when his son crossed the road?
-Bison.
How do animals know when to cross the road?
The chameleon changes from red to green.
Why did the snail take so long to cross the road?
It was feeling sluggish.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Why did the duck cross the road?
Because it thought it was a chicken.
How long did it take Lancelot to cross the road?
All knight.
Which bug always crosses the road?
A beetle.
Why did the potato run across the road?
So it wouldn’t get mashed.
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello from the other side!
A Duck is about to cross the road. A chicken runs out to stop him screaming "Don't do it, man - you'll never hear the end of it!"
Why is everyone mad when the pig crosses the road?
Because he’s a road hog.
Why did the pillow cross the road?
It was picking up the chicken’s feathers.
Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn’t have the guts.
Why did the horse cross the road?
To get to the apple store.
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