Why didn’t the turkey bake properly on Thanksgiving?
I’ve no idea but I suspect some fowl play.
What’s the best way to deal with a turkey?
Have it killed and then cran-bury it.
What did the turkey say to the computer? "Google, google, google!"
What does a English turkey say to another English turkey on Thanksgiving morning?
"To be roasted or not to be roasted, that is the question."
Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play.
What two animals get stuffed on Thanksgiving? Turkeys and people after Thanksgiving dinner.
Why did the turkey cross the road before Thanksgiving?
He was trying to give people the impression that he was a chicken.
What happened to the Pilgrim who was shot at by an Indian? He had an arrow escape.
What do you call an evil turkey? Poultry-Geist.
The native Indians were laughing at the Pilgrims for being so pale and never getting a proper tan.
But they did get a tan. A puritan.
What can never ever be eaten for Thanksgiving dinner?
Thanksgiving breakfast.
If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for? Their AGE!
In what country is Thanksgiving, ironically, not celebrated? Turkey.
If you call a large turkey a gobbler what do you call a small one? Goblet.
What do you get when you cross an octopus with a turkey?
Finally enough drumsticks for everybody at Thanksgiving. Provided you can catch the darned critter.
What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot.
“The turkey is dilated to 3.5 inches, stuffing is crowning, time to eat everybody!”
That’s what happens at Thanksgiving when your mom is an obstetrician.
What happens when you’re too harsh on the cranberries and make them sad?
They turn into blueberries.
Question: What is a turkey’s favorite dessert?
Answer: Peach gobbler!
How did the Pilgrims die?
It was the Pil-grim Reaper.
If the pilgrims came on the Mayflower than what does the teacher come on? The scholar ships.
What do you get when you crossbreed a turkey with a harp?
A bird who can pluck itself.
What kind of tan did pilgrims get at the beach? Puritan.
Why did the Pilgrims want to sail to America in the spring?
Because April showers bring Mayflowers!
Over the long journey and having overcome many hardships together, the Pilgrims’ bonds strengthened and they all became pretty good Palgrims.
(we'll show ourselves out)
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Tamara.
Tamara who?
Tamara the feeding frenzy starts all over again, yay!
Should you have that annoying distant auntie for Thanksgiving dinner?
It’s really not worth it. Just have the turkey.
What usually comes at the end of Thanksgiving?
Traditionally, the letter G.
What did the turkey say before it was roasted? "Boy, I'm stuffed!"
How many chefs does it take to stuff a Thanksgiving turkey?
Only one and even then it’s a pretty tight squeeze!
What happens when you seriously overstuff yourself with turkey at Thanksgiving?
You have a few slices of pumpkin pie.
Question: Why did the cranberries turn red?
Answer: Because they saw the turkey dressing!
What would mothers most like to make on Thanksgiving dinner?
Good restaurant reservations.
Which cat discovered America? Christofurry Columbus.
When do you serve vegan vitarian matcha-tea-flavored turkey-shaped tofu-loaf?
At Pranksgiving.
What did the turkey say before he was roasted?
“OK, spare me no insults!"
What is a good name for post-Thanksgiving constipation?
Turkey in suspense.
Who doesn't eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey - because it is always stuffed!
On Thanksgiving dinner, most of us turn into hipsters.
We all go out of our way to eat the turkey before it is cool.
What does a disappointed mama turkey tell her kids?
If your father were to see you now, he would be turning over in his gravy!