Wear Jokes

Can I wear your plaid flannel when I make you breakfast tomorrow morning?
An Unexpected Invitation Sam had been in the computer business for 25 years and was finally sick of the stress. He quit his job and bought 50 acres of land in Minnesota as far from humanity as possible. Sam saw the postman once a week and got groceries once a month. Otherwise, it was total peace and quiet. After six months or so of almost total isolation, he was just finishing dinner when someone knocked on his door. He opened it and there was a big, bearded man standing there. "Name's Leon... Your neighbor from four miles away... Having a party Saturday... thought you'd like to come." "Great," says Sam. "After six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you." As Leon was leaving he stopped, "Gotta warn you there's gonna be some drinkin'." "Not a problem... after 25 years in the computer business, I can drink with the best of 'em." Again, as he started to leave Leon stopped. "More 'n' likely gonna be some fightin' too." Sam says, "Well, I get along with people. I'll be there. Thanks again." Once again Leon turned from the door. "I've seen some wild se* at these parties, too." "Now that's not a problem," says Sam, "I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there...by the way, what should I wear?" Leon stopped in the door again and said, "Whatever you want, just gonna be the two of us."
Did you know garden gnomes wear little red hats?
It’s a little gnome fact.
The way you wear that sarong, it should be called a saright.
What size shoes do you wear? I’m going to guess size sexy!
My husband Ronnald asked me what do monkeys wear when cooking.
I said, "an aperon".
Why does the little mermaid wear sea shells?
Cause B-shells are too small, and D- shells are too big.
"Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out." - Phyllis Diller
"I have reached an age when, if someone tells me to wear socks, I don’t have to." - Albert Einstein
"It is better to wear out than to rust out." - Bishop Richard Cumberland
What kind of socks does a gardener wear?
Garden hose!
Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?
Real rocks are too heavy.
What type of underwear does a yard wear?
“Don’t wear perfume in the garden – unless you want to be pollinated by bees.”
— Anne Raver
Won't you wear my ring up around your neck
To tell the world I'm yours by heck!
I don't normally like girls who wear red coats. But, for you I'll make an exception.
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