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Tonight

Dirty Pick Up Lines for Girls
I lost my teddy bear.
Can I sleep with you tonight?
Tell me your name so I know what to scream tonight.
One Liners and Short Jokes
Asked my wife to dress up as a nurse tonight...
to fulfill my fantasy that we have health insurance.
Dirty Short Jokes
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Se*! Se*! Se*! Free se* tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Vegetable Puns
"Darling, shall we buy some vegetables for tonight?"
"Yes, lettuce!"
Puns
What did one plate say to his friend? Tonight, dinner’s on me!
Rejection Pick Up Lines
Man: "Voulez-vous vous coucher avec moi ce soir?" (Would you like to go to bed with me tonight?)
Woman: "Je voudrais bien, mais je n'ai rien a porter." (I would love to, but I have nothing to wear.)
Dirty Pick Up Lines
How about later tonight, you let me slip into something a little more comfortable... Like you.
I'm not a d**k in real life, but I'll play one in your v*ina tonight!
Water Puns
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
Cheesy Pick Up Lines
Do you know what's on the menu tonight, girl?
Me 'n' U.
Hi, my name's Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?
Dark Short Jokes
Guy walks into a bar. Sees a hot girl.
He walks up to her and says "You're getting laid tonight.”
She replies “What are you, some sort of psychic?”
He says “No... I’m just stronger than you."
Dirty Roses are Red Violets are Blue Jokes
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I have five fingers
but tonight you’ll get two.
One Liners for Kids
Q: What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil?
A: I hear the doctor is taking us out tonight!
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