"Hi, I'm Buzz Aldrin. Second person to step on the moon. Neil before me."
The Bad Kung Fu Pupil
A Kung Fu pupil asks his teacher, "Master, why does my ability not improve? I'm always defeated."
And the master, pensive and forever patient, answers: "My dear pupil, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun and their wings seeming like flames?"
"Yes, my master, I have."
"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones without taking anything out of its proper place?"
"Yes, my master, I have witnessed it."
"And the moon, when it touches the calm water to reflect all its enormous beauty?"
"Yes, my master, I watch it every night."
"That is the problem. You keep watching all this stuff instead of training."
How does one astronaut on the moon tell another astronaut that he is sorry?
Why does no one trust the man on the moon?Why does no one trust the man on the moon?
Because he has a dark side!
Got my friend an unnecessarily large rocket for bonfire night.
He's over the moon!He's over the moon!
What did Neil Armstrong say when people didn't laugh at his moon jokes?
"I guess you had to be there."
What do moon people do after they get married?What do moon people do after they get married?
Go on their honeyearth.
Who is the first farmer to walk on the moon? Neil Farmstrong.
How does a quarter moon always feel? Crestfallen.
Why is the moon a wanted criminal? It’s constantly mooning people.
Living costs on the moon would probably be out of this world.
What kind of tropical fruit wants to visit the moon? A Coco-naut
Do you know why no one has ever been sentenced for crimes committed on the moon? Because it's a gray area.
Why did Neil Armstrong pee right after he made his first step on the moon? He wanted to go where no man had gone before.
Who the Heck Is Mr. Gorsky?
On July 20th, 1969, as commander of the Apollo 11 lunar module, Neil Armstrong was the first person to set foot on the moon.
His first words after stepping on the moon, "that's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind," were heard by millions of people around the world.
But just before he re-entered the lander, he made the enigmatic remark: "good luck, Mr. Gorsky."
Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet cosmonaut.
However, upon checking, there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs.
Over the years many people questioned Armstrong as to what the "good luck, Mr. Gorsky” statement meant, but he just brushed them off by smiling.
On July 5th, 1995, in Tampa Bay, Florida, while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26-year-old question. That time, he finally responded.
Mr. Gorsky had died, so Neil Armstrong felt he could answer the question.
In 1938, when he was a kid in a small Midwestern town, he was playing baseball with a friend in the backyard.
His friend hit the ball, which landed in his neighbor's yard by the bedroom windows.
His neighbors were Mr. and Mrs. Gorsky.
As he leaned down to pick up the ball, the young Armstrong heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky.
"S*x? You want s*x?! You'll get s*x when the kid next door walks on the moon!"