Green

The national news did a story on my friend's bumper crop of green citrus fruits.
He loves being in the limelight.
What is green, red, yellow, purple and orange?
Colors.
What’s green and has wheels?
Grass, I lied about the wheels.
Which football playoff team are Star Trek fans rooting for ?
The Green Bay Picards.
How do you get red color from green color?
You put frog in mixer.
What do Green Eggs and Ham and Fifty Shades of Grey have in common?
They both encourage people who can barely read to try new things.
Does a green candle burn longer than a pink candle? No they both burn shorter.
How to Turn Tomatoes Red
How to Turn Tomatoes Red A woman’s garden is growing beautifully but the tomatoes won’t ripen. She goes to her neighbor and says, ”Your tomatoes are ripe, mine are green. What can I do about it?” The man replies, ”Well, it may sound absurd but here’s what to do. Tonight there’s no moon. After dark go out into your garden and take all your clothes off. Tomatoes can see in the dark and they’ll be embarrassed and blush. In the morning they’ll all be red, you’ll see.” She says to herself "Well, what the heck it can’t hurt to try it." Next day her neighbor asks how it worked. “So so,” she answers. “The tomatoes are still green but the cucumbers are all four inches longer.”
Whats green and smells like bacon? Kermit the Frog's finger! Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?
“A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, ‘At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.'”
Claude Pepper
What will you do if you come across a green alien? I’ll simply wait until it’s ripe.
Libya changed its plain green flag to a crescent moon, but I think they'll change it back.
It's only a phase, after all.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
What’s that green head of something that is the main part of a salad?
Lettuce think about it.
What do you call a pastor who wanders from town to town, looking for leafy green vegetables?
A romaine Catholic priest.