Tomatoes

What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.
Why are alligators long and green?
Because if they were small and red, they would be tomatoes.
If tomatoes are a fruit
Then ketchup is a smoothie.
What do two tomatoes do after not seeing each other for a long period of time?
They ketchup.
Why are tomatoes the slowest vegetable?
Because they can’t ketchup.
Three tomatoes are walkin' down the street.
Papa Tomato, Mama Tomato and Baby Tomato.
Baby Tomato starts lagging behind, and Papa Tomato gets really angry.
Goes back and squishes him and says: "Ketchup."
Why can't tomatoes ever beat lettuce in a race?
Because lettuce is always a head, and tomatoes have to ketchup!
Two tomatoes went jogging. One trips and falls. The other tomato said, "Grab my Heinz and I'll help you up." Trippy tomato replies, "Nah, you go ahead. I'll ketchup."
Young Micharlangelo Matos
Has relations with unripe tomatoes.
Grinning, he flirts
"Sure the insertion hurts
But they're cleaner than uncooked potatoes."
There once was a farmer from Leeds,
Who swallowed a packet of seeds.
It soon came to pass,
He was covered with grass,
But has all the tomatoes he needs.
There once was a farmer from Leeds,
Who swallowed a packet of seeds.
It soon came to pass,
He was covered with grass,
But has all the tomatoes he needs.
“You know you’re a gardener when you’re happy to devote three months of your life growing tomatoes to save $1.27.”
— Anonymous
Why do bacon lettuce and tomatoes have the lowest IQ out of all the foods?
Because they're in-bred.
Tomatoes are red, roses are red too. We both know what I truly love is you.
How to Turn Tomatoes Red
How to Turn Tomatoes Red A woman’s garden is growing beautifully but the tomatoes won’t ripen. She goes to her neighbor and says, ”Your tomatoes are ripe, mine are green. What can I do about it?” The man replies, ”Well, it may sound absurd but here’s what to do. Tonight there’s no moon. After dark go out into your garden and take all your clothes off. Tomatoes can see in the dark and they’ll be embarrassed and blush. In the morning they’ll all be red, you’ll see.” She says to herself "Well, what the heck it can’t hurt to try it." Next day her neighbor asks how it worked. “So so,” she answers. “The tomatoes are still green but the cucumbers are all four inches longer.”
From my head tomatoes, I love you bunches.
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