Stomach Jokes

I went to a restaurant and had a salad. Afterward, I got an intense pain in my stomach. I visited the doctor and he told me that I had grass-troentiritis.
When does the moon gets his/her stomach full? During full moon.
Do you sleep on your stomach? No. Can I?
Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out.
Son: Hey dad, I stole a peach from the grocery store today.
Dad: Why?
Son: I don’t know, but I feel guilty. It’s a real pit in my stomach.
“Nothing compares to the stomach ache you get from laughing with friends.”
— Unknown
Local glass blower inhaled whilst working. He ended up with a pane in his stomach.
I want to ask you out, but I’ve got butterflies in my stomach. And worms. And maggots…
The Remakrable Native American 150 years ago, two cowboys come upon a Native American lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground. One of the cowboys stops and says to the other, "You see that Injun?" "Yeah," says the other cowboy. "Look," says the first one, "he's listening to the ground. He can hear things for miles in any direction." Just then the Native American looks up. "Covered wagon," he says, "about two miles away. Have two horses, one brown, one white. Man, woman, child, household effects in wagon." "Incredible!" says the cowboy to his friend. "This Indian knows how far away they are, how many horses, what color they are, who is in the wagon, and what is in the wagon! Remarkable! How do you do it?!?" The Native looks up weakly and says, "Ran over me about a half hour ago."
Did you hear about the skeleton who dropped out of medical school?
He didn’t have the stomach for it.
Why didn’t one skeleton want to look at the other skeleton?
He didn’t have the stomach for it.
What do you give a deer with an upset stomach?
Elka Seltzer.
Why is it a bad idea to swallow toothpaste?
Because you’ll destroy your stomach cavity!
Why wouldn’t the ghost eat liver? He didn’t have the stomach for it.
Why do pumpkins never quarrel? Because they have no stomach for fighting.
The best way to a man's heart is through his stomach."
The surgeon was fired later that day.
Want to start your day laughing? Register to our Daily Joke!
Did you mean:
Continue With: Google
By continuing, you agree to our T&C and Privacy Policy