Once upon a time, there was a man who was peacefully driving down a windy road.
Suddenly, a bunny skipped across the road and the man couldn't stop. He hit the bunny head on.
The man quickly jumped out of his car to check the scene.
There, lying lifeless in the middle of the road, was the Easter Bunny.
The man cried out, "Oh no! I have committed a terrible crime! I have run over the Easter Bunny!"
The man started sobbing quite hard and then he heard another car approaching. It was a woman in a red convertible.
The woman stopped and asked what the problem was.
The man explained, "I have done something horribly sad. I have run over the Easter Bunny. Now there will be no one to deliver eggs on Easter, and it's all my fault."
The woman ran back to her car.
A moment later, she came back carrying a spray bottle.
She ran over to the motionless bunny and sprayed it.
The bunny immediately sprang up, ran into the woods, stopped, and waved back at the man and woman.
Then it ran another 10 feet, stopped, and waved. It then ran another 10 feet, stopped, and waved again.
It did this over and over and over again until the man and the woman could no longer see the bunny.
Once out of sight, the man exclaimed, "What is that stuff in that bottle?"
The woman replied, "It's harespray. It revitalizes hare and adds permanent wave."
A large sinkhole opens up on a remote town. An alarming number of people fall into it and injure themselves and it's difficult to get them all to the small hospital they have.
The mayor gathers the city council to figure out a solution. The smartest city councilor suggests they park an ambulance next to the hole to get people to the hospital faster. The rest unanimously agree. However, they only have 2 ambulances and they're needed more in the center of the town to get there quickly.
So the mayor gathers the council a second time. The second smartest councilor suggests they close the road between the hole and the hospital so the ambulance can ferry people faster. Everyone nods in deep wisdom. Alas, after a few days it's obviously not really doing much and it just creates more accidents with too many cars on the smaller roads.
Finally they gather for a third time to take drastic measures. The third smartest councilor says they need to tear down the hospital and rebuild it next to the hole.
Finally the mayor can't take it anymore. He slams his fist on the table and yells: "You idiots! Do you know how much moving the hospital will cost?! There's an obvious and easy solution to this problem! We fill in the hole and then we dig a new one next to the hospital!"
Why did the rooster cross the road? He heard there were some hot chicks on the other side.
The Blond Painter
A Blond man is hired to paint the lines on the road.
On the first day he paints ten miles, and his employers are amazed.
But, the second day he painted just five, and on only the third day, he painted only a mile of the road.
Disappointed, his boss asks what the problem was.
The Blond replies, "Well sir, every day I have to walk farther and farther to get back to the paint bucket."
This blonde was walking down a road carrying a bag, when a guy came along. The guy asks, "What are you carrying?" "Melons," the blonde replies. "Cool," the guy says. "If I can guess how many there are, can I have one of them?" The blonde giggles and says, "If you can guess how many there are, you can have BOTH of them."