What's a pirate's least favorite letter? Dear sir,
Your internet access has been terminated due to illegal usage.
Sincerely, your service provider.
Conductor on a train: “But sir, you cannot travel with this! This is a child’s ticket! You’re at least 19 years old!” Me: "That's how long your delay was."
A teacher sees a knife in Jimmy's backpack "Don't worry sir, it's only a kitchen knife."
Officer: "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?" Soldier: "Sure, buddy." Officer: "That's no way to address an officer! Now, let's try it again!" Officer: "Soldier. Do you have change for a dollar?" Soldier: "No, SIR!"
"Private! I didn't see you at camouflage practice today!" "Thank you sir!"
What do you call a otter that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
The Blond Painter
A Blond man is hired to paint the lines on the road.
On the first day he paints ten miles, and his employers are amazed.
But, the second day he painted just five, and on only the third day, he painted only a mile of the road.
Disappointed, his boss asks what the problem was.
The Blond replies, "Well sir, every day I have to walk farther and farther to get back to the paint bucket."