Jokes > Tags > Sir

Sir

What do you call a dinosaur as tall as a house, with long sharp teeth, and 12 claws on each foot? Sir.

What do you call a dinosaur as tall as a house, with long sharp teeth, 12 claws on each foot and a personal stereo over his ears? Anything you like, he won't hear you!
Conductor on a train: “But sir, you cannot travel with this! This is a child’s ticket! You’re at least 19 years old!”
Me: "That's how long your delay was."
A teacher sees a knife in Jimmy's backpack
"Don't worry sir, it's only a kitchen knife."

"And that?"

"Kitchen gun."
Officer: "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?"
Soldier: "Sure, buddy."
Officer: "That's no way to address an officer!
Now, let's try it again!"
Officer: "Soldier.
Do you have change for a dollar?"
Soldier: "No, SIR!"
"Private! I didn't see you at camouflage practice today!"
"Thank you sir!"
A talking horse walks into a bar one day.
He goes up to the manager and asks him, "Excuse me, good sir, are you hiring?"
The manager is surprised to see a talking horse and he looks him up and down before saying, "Sorry, we're not hiring. Why don't you try the circus?"
The horse says, "Why would the circus need a bartender?"
Top 25 Funniest Duck Names:

1. James Pond

2. Quack Sparrow

3. Duck Norris

4 Quacks-a-Lot

5 Quackhead

6 Quacko

7. Quackers

8. Nutquacker

9. Quacker Jack

10. Quack Efron

11. Quack Black

12. Moby Duck

13. Quackula

14. Sir Duckington

15. Eggbert

16. Quackers

17. Duckleberry Finn

18. Quacker Jack

19. Lucky Duck

20. Cheese and quackers

21. Quaker Jack

22. Duckingham Palace

23.Waddles

24. Quackie Chan

25 Firequacker
What do you call a otter that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
“Waiter, will my pizza be long?”
“No sir, it will be round!”
The Blond Painter
The Blond Painter A Blond man is hired to paint the lines on the road. On the first day he paints ten miles, and his employers are amazed. But, the second day he painted just five, and on only the third day, he painted only a mile of the road. Disappointed, his boss asks what the problem was. The Blond replies, "Well sir, every day I have to walk farther and farther to get back to the paint bucket."
What do you call a sloth that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
I don’t know who became more famous, Sir Francis Bacon or his son
Chris P. Bacon
What do you call a Koala that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
What do you call a mouse who can pick up a horse? Sir!
You, sir, are an oxygen thief!
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”