Miles

What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty? A blonde parade.
The Blonde Hunters
The Blonde Hunters Two blondes decided to go on a hunting trip to see what it's all about. After a few days camping, they finally bagged a deer and were dragging it by the rear legs back to the truck. But the antlers kept getting stuck in the mud. One says to the other, "This is tough but we only got about a mile left to reach the truck." Another hunter happened upon them then, saw their dilemma and told them, "If you drag the deer the other way, the antlers won't stick in the mud." So the blondes give it try and it worked! The first blonde says, "That hunter was right! This way is a lot easier." The second blonde says, "Sure was, but now we're two miles from the truck."
There was a Young Girl of Majorca,
Whose aunt was a very fast walker;
She walked seventy miles,
And leaped fifteen stiles,
Which astonished that Girl of Majorca.
A Dutchman has invented shoes that record how many miles you've walked.
Clever clogs.
The doctor told me I had to start walking three miles a day to get fit
It's been two weeks and I don't know how to get home.
I ran three miles today. Finally I said, “Lady take your purse.”
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire.
There once was a koala who could run at a speed of more than 800 miles per hour. He was the first koala to break the sound bearier.
Me: Would you like to be the sun in my life?

Him: Awww, of course!

Me: Good then stay 92.96 million miles away from me.
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically,
"Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
Why can’t people hear your scream in the space? Because it’s miles away.
What is the difference between a panda and a polar bear?
About 1,000 miles.
Are you the sun?
Because you should stay 93 million miles away from me.
I own a big fat cat-
The fattest for miles around.
Wherever there's lots of food,
That's where he'll be found.

He's really good at eating.
It's a talent, I suppose.
I'm sure if he keeps at it
He'd win the talent shows.

I own a big fat cat-
He weighs at least a ton.
He couldn't run to save his life.
Yes, he isn't much fun.

His favourite room's the kitchen.
(I'm sure we all know why.)
He eats just about everything,
So that's why, with a sigh...

I'd like to tell you, Teacher,
I'd like to tell you straight,
I might have "accidentally" dropped
My homework in his plate.

(By Christian M. Mitewu)
Did you hear the story about a Golden Retriever who brought a ball back from miles away?
It was far-fetched.
The Blond Painter
The Blond Painter A Blond man is hired to paint the lines on the road. On the first day he paints ten miles, and his employers are amazed. But, the second day he painted just five, and on only the third day, he painted only a mile of the road. Disappointed, his boss asks what the problem was. The Blond replies, "Well sir, every day I have to walk farther and farther to get back to the paint bucket."
How much far can you see with your naked eyes, on a clear day? 92,955,807 miles (to the sun).