Me: Good then stay 92.96 million miles away from me.
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
I own a big fat cat- The fattest for miles around. Wherever there's lots of food, That's where he'll be found.
He's really good at eating. It's a talent, I suppose. I'm sure if he keeps at it He'd win the talent shows.
I own a big fat cat- He weighs at least a ton. He couldn't run to save his life. Yes, he isn't much fun.
His favourite room's the kitchen. (I'm sure we all know why.) He eats just about everything, So that's why, with a sigh...
I'd like to tell you, Teacher, I'd like to tell you straight, I might have "accidentally" dropped My homework in his plate.
(By Christian M. Mitewu)
The Blonde Hunters
Two blondes decided to go on a hunting trip to see what it's all about.
After a few days camping, they finally bagged a deer and were dragging it by the rear legs back to the truck. But the antlers kept getting stuck in the mud. One says to the other, "This is tough but we only got about a mile left to reach the truck."
Another hunter happened upon them then, saw their dilemma and told them, "If you drag the deer the other way, the antlers won't stick in the mud."
So the blondes give it try and it worked! The first blonde says, "That hunter was right! This way is a lot easier."
The second blonde says, "Sure was, but now we're two miles from the truck."
A Blond man is hired to paint the lines on the road.
On the first day he paints ten miles, and his employers are amazed.
But, the second day he painted just five, and on only the third day, he painted only a mile of the road.
Disappointed, his boss asks what the problem was.
The Blond replies, "Well sir, every day I have to walk farther and farther to get back to the paint bucket."