Little

I can't believe I got a life sentence for a little insider trading.
The judge called it "organ harvesting", but that's just semantics.
Why did the engineering students leave class early? They were getting a little ANSI.
What is E.T. short for?
So he can fit in his little spaceship.
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because he was a little horse!
My singing voice sounds bad in my tiny apartment.
It’s a little flat.
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
That crazy little sun of a beach.
I once asked my grandfather how he'd lived so long
He smiled and said; "I sprinkle a little gunpowder on my cereal every morning."

I always thought that was a little weird but he did live a long life and left a great legacy; a thriving career, loving wife, seven children, sixteen grandchildren, two great-grandchildren, and a massive hole in the crematorium wall.
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
One’s really heavy, the other’s a little lighter.
I had my dad proof read an essay of mine back in High School. He said my grammar was a little funny.
Apparently I need to work on my pun-ctuation.
Why did the Easter Egg hide?
Because he was a little chicken.
The Wife, the Grill and the Sausage
The Wife, the Grill and the Sausage A man notices his wife's butt is getting big. I bet your butt is as big as my grill." He tells her. His wife rolls her eyes, but he gets a tape measure, measures her bottom, measures the grill, and teases her that they're about the same size. That night, he tries to see if he can get lucky. "Not tonight," says his wife. He asks her why not, to which she responds, "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little wiener?"
Five little monkeys jumping on the bed,

One fell off and bumped his head.

The momma called the doctor and the doctor said…

“We’re calling Animal Protective Services.”
When will a guy ignore even the hottest girl? Right after he "comes" inside. Why do little boys whine? Because they're practicing to be men.
“Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society.”
Mark Twain
The Wrong Kind of Wish
The Wrong Kind of Wish A huge muscular man with a tiny head walks into a bar and orders a beer. The Bartender hands him the beer and says, "You know, I'm not gay but I want to compliment you on your physique, it is really phenomenal! I have a question though, why is your head so small?" The big guy nods slowly. He's obviously answered this question many times. "One day", he begins, "I was hunting when I got lost in the woods. I heard someone crying for help and finally realized that it was coming from a frog sitting next to the stream. So i picked up the frog and it said, 'Kiss me. Kiss me and I will turn into a genie and grant you 3 wishes.' So I looked around to make sure I was alone and gave the frog a kiss. POOF! The frog turned into a beautiful, voluptuous, naked woman. She said - 'You now have 3 wishes.' I looked at my scrawny 60kg body and said, 'I want a body like Arnold Schwarzenegger.' She nodded, whispered a spell, and POOF! There I was, so huge that I ripped out of my clothes and was standing there naked! She asked, 'What will be your second wish?' I looked hungrily at her beautiful body and replied, 'I want to make sensuous love with you here by this stream.' She nodded, laid down and beckoned me. We then made love for hours! Later, as we lay there next to each other, sweating from our glorious lovemaking, she whispered into my ear, 'You know, you do have one more wish, what will it be?' I looked at her and replied, 'How 'bout a little head?'
Why did the little girl color her paper heart pink rather than red?
She was feeling lighthearted.