Little

When will a guy ignore even the hottest girl? Right after he "comes" inside. Why do little boys whine? Because they're practicing to be men.
My singing voice sounds bad in my tiny apartment.
It’s a little flat.
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
The Wife, the Grill and the Sausage
The Wife, the Grill and the Sausage A man notices his wife's butt is getting big. I bet your butt is as big as my grill." He tells her. His wife rolls her eyes, but he gets a tape measure, measures her bottom, measures the grill, and teases her that they're about the same size. That night, he tries to see if he can get lucky. "Not tonight," says his wife. He asks her why not, to which she responds, "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little wiener?"
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because he was a little horse!
What is E.T. short for?
So he can fit in his little spaceship.
Why did the little girl color her paper heart pink rather than red?
She was feeling lighthearted.
Five little monkeys jumping on the bed,

One fell off and bumped his head.

The momma called the doctor and the doctor said…

“We’re calling Animal Protective Services.”
I can't believe I got a life sentence for a little insider trading.
The judge called it "organ harvesting", but that's just semantics.
Why did the engineering students leave class early? They were getting a little ANSI.
That crazy little sun of a beach.
“Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society.”
Mark Twain
Why did the Easter Egg hide?
Because he was a little chicken.
I had my dad proof read an essay of mine back in High School. He said my grammar was a little funny.
Apparently I need to work on my pun-ctuation.
I once asked my grandfather how he'd lived so long
He smiled and said; "I sprinkle a little gunpowder on my cereal every morning."

I always thought that was a little weird but he did live a long life and left a great legacy; a thriving career, loving wife, seven children, sixteen grandchildren, two great-grandchildren, and a massive hole in the crematorium wall.
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
One’s really heavy, the other’s a little lighter.