Heat Jokes

Two Eskimos and a Kayak Two Eskimos sitting, paddling along in a kayak, when one felt a little chilly so he made a little pile of sticks and lit a fire in the craft. His friend shouted at him to put it out, but the warning was ignored. Unsurprisingly, the kayak sank quite quickly and finding themselves in the cold water, the second Eskimo whacked his idiot mate over the head with a now redundant paddle. "Ouch!!" said the previously warm Eskimo, "what did you do that for?!?" "Because, you idiot," said the second Eskimo, "Don't you know that you can't have your kayak and heat it too??"
There once was a man from Bombay
Who fashioned a c*nt out of clay
But the heat of his prick
turned it into a brick
And it chafed all his foreskin away.
There once was a man from Pompeii
One day made a wife out of clay
But the heat from his prick
Turned the clay into brick
And tore all his foreskin away!
How does the sun say hi to the moon?
With a heat wave!
So, if I heat my solid state hard drive until it becomes a gaseous state hard drive
Would that mean I'm doing cloud computing?
According to the second law of thermodynamics, you're supposed to share your body heat with me.
Hey, if you can't take the heat, get out of your clothes.
My Dog Ran Out of Petrol A little girl wants to take her dog for a walk, so she asks her mother whether she can take Lulu for a walk around the block. Her mother says “No, sweetie. Lulu is in heat.” “What does that mean?”, asks the girl. “Why don't you go and ask your dad in the garage?” says the busy mother. So the girl goes to her father in the garage and asks “I want to take Lulu for a walk, but mom says she’s in heat and to ask you about it.”. The father takes a rag, pours some petrol on it, and then rubs Lulu’s backside with it to disguise the scent. “Now you can take her for a walk”, he says. “Just don’t let her off the leash, and she’ll be fine”. So the little girl skips happily away with Lula trotting along beside her. A few minutes later she returns with an empty leash, and no Lulu. Concerned, her dad asked “Where’s Lulu, sweetie?” “She ran out of gas halfway around the block," the girl replied, "so the neighbor's dog is giving her a push home.”
What do you call someone that's always stealing your heat?
A brrrglar!
When the heat turns down, we thieves gather in our secret hideout for a meeting.
We call it our Con Den session.
Joe in Hell A man dies and goes to hell. As he approaches the gates he is stopped by the gatekeeper who asks for his name. "Joe." he replies. "Well, joe, I've found your name on the list. There are seven levels in hell, but since your only sin was cheating on a science test in the third grade, you will only be in the first level." "Oh, it won't be that bad then." joe replies. "Joe, that's the hottest level," says the gatekeeper in a pained expression, "because heat rises. You'd know that if you had studied for your test."
My dad argued with a stove
The conversation really started to heat up
You just caused a heat wave.
Is there an excessive heat warning or am I just hot for you.
Oh, the heat! Doesn’t summer know – you’re all the sunshine I need!
Hey, if you can’t take the heat, get out of your clothes.
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