Jump

What do you call a potato that’s reluctant to jump into boiling water? A hesi-tater.
A physics teacher is about to jump off a high bridge
When a friend stops him saying, "Don't do it, you have so much potential."
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
What do you get when you cross a snake and a frog?
A jump rope.
Why are frogs so good at basketball?
Because they always make jump shots.
Whats green and can jump a mile a minute?
A frog with hiccups.
The Same Old Sandwich
The Same Old Sandwich There was a Redhead man, a Bald Man and a Blond man working on the top of a cliff. The Redhead said, "You know, every day it's the same sandwich my wife makes me. I'm so sick of it. If I have cheese in my sandwich tomorrow, I'll jump off this cliff." The Bald man said, "Right there with you my friend. If I have jam in my sandwich tomorrow, I'll jump off the cliff." The Blond man said, "With you all the way chaps, If I have ham tomorrow, I'll jump off the cliff." The next day, the Redhead man had cheese, the Bald man had ham, and the Blond man had jam. So they all jumped. At the funerals, the wives of the Redhead man and the bald man said, "Why didn't they just TELL us they didn't like their sandwiches??" The Blond's wife said in tears, "I don't understand it... He made his own sandwiches!"
Young goats should be careful when they're out and and about and shouldn't jump into a stranger's car.
That's how you get kidnapped.
If I wanted to kill myself I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ.
His First Jump
His First Jump A blond guy always wanted to skydive. He waited for years before he had the nerve and enrolled in a skydiving class. They were taught how to jump and when to pull the cord. The instructor told them: "First you pull the cord after 10 seconds, if that doesn't work for any reason, pull the second cord for the auxiliary parachute. At the bottom there will be a bus waiting to take pick you up." So the blond guy takes his parachute and sits nervously with everyone as they are preparing to jump. The light comes on and they start heading out the plane one by one. When it comes to his turn, the blond guy screams and jumps. For 10 beautiful seconds, he gets to fly and hover. Then he remembers to pull the cord. Nothing happens. Panicked, he pulls the other cord. Again, nothing happens. "Oh man," said the blond guy to himself, "that bus better be down there or I'm screwed!"
I’m not going to bungee jump. I was born because of broken rubber and I’m not gonna die the same way.
How do you know when a baby koala bear is happy? You’ll see them jump for joey!
A fellow jumped off a high wall,
And had a most terrible fall.
He went back to bed,
With a bump on his head,
That's why you don't jump off a wall.
Some guy wanted to charge me a bunch of money for a second hand bouncy house.
But I wasn't sure if that was something I really wanted to jump into.
The Asylum Breakout
The Asylum Breakout Two men are in a lunatic asylum and one night, they decide they don’t like living in an asylum any more. They decide they’re going to escape! They get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moonlight to freedom. The first man jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn’t dare make the leap, afraid of falling. So then, the first man has an idea… He says, 'Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I’ll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!' The second man immediately spots the problem with this and shakes his head. ' "What do you think I am? Crazy? You’d turn it off when I was half way across!"
Yo mama so fat she can't even jump to a conclusion.
Which type of dinosaur could jump higher than a house ? Any kind! A house cannot jump!
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, want me to jump off this chairlift for you? 'Cause I think I could fall for you.