Cheese

What is a lion’s favourite cheese?
Roarquefort
Stevie Wonder got a cheese grater for his birthday.
He said it was the most violent book he'd ever read.
Use These Words Creatively
Use These Words Creatively Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle. The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time. The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return. Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she decides to be kind and tells them, “The first one who can use the words “liver” and “cheese” together in an imaginative, intelligent sentence can go out with me.” The sturdy, muscular black Lab speaks up quickly and says “I love liver and cheese.” “Oh, how childish,” said the Poodle, “That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever.” She turned to the tall, shiny Golden Retriever and said: “How well can you do?” “Ummm...I HATE liver and cheese,” blurts the Golden Retriever. “My, my,” said the Poodle, “I guess it’s hopeless. That’s just as dumb as the Lab’s sentence.” She then turns to the last of the three dogs and says, “How about you, little guy?” The last of the three, tiny in stature but big in fame and finesse, is the Chihuahua. He gives her a smile, a sly wink, turns to the Golden Retriever and the Lab and says, “Liver alone, cheese mine."
I have an addiction to cheddar cheese.
But it's only mild.
One Saturday morning at three,
A cheese monger's shop in Paree.
Collapsed to the ground,
With a thunderous sound,
Leaving only a pile of de brie.
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Hand of the buyer with a piece of cheese in the store
A bomb goes of in a cheese shop.
You can see da brie everywhere.
There once was a rabbi named Keith
Who circumcised men with his teeth
It was not for the leisure
Or the sensual pleasure
But to get at the cheese underneath.
That Little Pill
That Little Pill A senior couple decides to try viagra for the first time ever. They have an incredible night together. In the morning, the wife asks her husband at breakfast time, "Would you like some bacon and eggs, a slice of toast, and maybe some grapefruit juice and coffee?" He declines. “Thanks for asking, but, I'm not hungry right now. It's this Viagra," he says. "It's really taken the edge off my appetite." At lunchtime, she asks him if he'd like something. "How about a bowl of soup, homemade muffins, or a cheese sandwich?" He declines. "The Viagra," he says, "really trashes my desire for food." Come dinner time, she asks if he wants anything to eat. "Would you like a juicy rib eye steak and some scrumptious apple pie? Or maybe a rotisserie chicken or tasty stir fry?" He declines again. "No," he says, "it's got to be the Viagra. I'm still not hungry." "Well," she says, "Would you mind letting me up? I'm starving!"
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.
What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
An ice burger extra cheese.
What kind of cheese do rodents like?
Mousearella.
What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth?
Hard cheese!
What do you call a mouse with no balls? Optical. What is a mouse's favorite record? 'Please cheese me'!
What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth? Hard cheese!
The Same Old Sandwich
The Same Old Sandwich There was a Redhead man, a Bald Man and a Blond man working on the top of a cliff. The Redhead said, "You know, every day it's the same sandwich my wife makes me. I'm so sick of it. If I have cheese in my sandwich tomorrow, I'll jump off this cliff." The Bald man said, "Right there with you my friend. If I have jam in my sandwich tomorrow, I'll jump off the cliff." The Blond man said, "With you all the way chaps, If I have ham tomorrow, I'll jump off the cliff." The next day, the Redhead man had cheese, the Bald man had ham, and the Blond man had jam. So they all jumped. At the funerals, the wives of the Redhead man and the bald man said, "Why didn't they just TELL us they didn't like their sandwiches??" The Blond's wife said in tears, "I don't understand it... He made his own sandwiches!"
Roses are red, violets are blue.
I have Alzheimer’s Disease, Cheese on toast.