My turn signal wasn’t working, So I asked for help from a friend. “Stand behind the car,” I said. “Let’s get this problem to end.” “When I turn the signal on, If it’s working, let me know.” I hit the blinker and then I heard: “Yes! No! Yes! No! Yes! No!” (Joanna Fuchs)
Twinkle Twinkle little star, I want to hit you with a car. Throw you off a tree so high. Hope you break your neck and die! Twinkle Twinkle little star. Go to heck, it isnt far.
There was a recent study showing that crows were hit a lot more by trucks than cars... they came to the conclusion that this was because crows can warn each other by going "CAAAR CAAAR" but can't say "TRUCK TRUCK".
You have to hunt down a troll and kill it with a gun. After you find it, you accidently lose sight of it. In rage, you fire your gun. The bullets hit the troll and it dies. What do you tell the person who sent you on the quest? - I lost gun-trol.
I got tired of fighting straw... So I hit the hay.
I was on the road yesterday with my metal detector looking for some cutlery.... I found plenty of spoons and knives but I didn't stop, until I hit a fork in the road.
Sam and his wife Rachel were playing golf at the club when she drove a 300 yard tee shot straight down the fairway. Sam said, 'Wow I have never seen you play this well before!'
'I took lessons.' Says Rachel.
A couple of days later on the tennis court in mixed doubles, she smashes her serves and never misses a point. Sam said to her: 'Wow I have never seen you hit so well before!'
'I took lessons.' Says Rachel.
On the weekend they settled into a nice dinner at home. Rachel brings out the perfect plates of Beef Wellington and Sam says, 'Delicious! I have never seen you cook like this before!'
'I took lessons.' Says Rachel.
After dinner she gives him THAT look and they go upstairs.
About 30 minutes later Sam rolls over and says 'Wow! That was incredible, amazing, so hot... I want a divorce.'
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Sam and his wife Rachel were playing golf at the club when she drove a 300 yard tee shot straight down the fairway. Sam said, 'Wow I have never seen you play this well before!'
'I took lessons.' Says Rachel.
A couple of days later on the tennis court in mixed doubles, she smashes her serves and never misses a point. Sam said to her: 'Wow I have never seen you hit so well before!'
'I took lessons.' Says Rachel.
On the weekend they settled into a nice dinner at home. Rachel brings out the perfect plates of Beef Wellington and Sam says, 'Delicious! I have never seen you cook like this before!'
'I took lessons.' Says Rachel.
After dinner she gives him THAT look and they go upstairs.
About 30 minutes later Sam rolls over and says 'Wow! That was incredible, amazing, so hot... I want a divorce.'
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