Crossing Jokes

Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it “lily livered”.
One day, tamarind, curry and ice were crossing the road. All of a sudden they heard a gunshot. Then, tamabrind ball, curry duck and ice-cream!
Did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing the river?
It was three feet deep on average.
Q: Why did the tiger cross the road?
A: To stop the zebra crossing.
"A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere."
What did the nut tell itself before crossing the finish line? “I pe-can do it!”
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
I saw the chicken quickly crossing the basketball court? Then I remembered that the referee was blowing fowls.
Have you ever tried crossing a lion with a flamingo? It will be pink, that’s the mane thing.
I once tried crossing a flamingo with a cement mixer. Sounds crazy, but I really wanted a good brick layer.
“A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.”
Groucho Marx
Why are the railroad tracks angry? Because people are always crossing them.
I once dreamt of crossing a wide river...
But it ended up being just a ferry tale.
What did the lollipop lady say to the zebra crossing?
'You're stripping me of a job.'
I saw a guy trying to cross a really busy street. Trying to be helpful, I said, “You know, there is a zebra crossing 50ft ahead.”
He said, “I hope he’s having a better luck than I am.”
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