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Crossing Jokes

Funny Groucho Marx Quotes
"A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere."
Zebra Puns
What did the lollipop lady say to the zebra crossing?
'You're stripping me of a job.'
I saw a guy trying to cross a really busy street. Trying to be helpful, I said, “You know, there is a zebra crossing 50ft ahead.”
He said, “I hope he’s having a better luck than I am.”
River Puns
I once dreamt of crossing a wide river...
But it ended up being just a ferry tale.
Train Puns
Why are the railroad tracks angry? Because people are always crossing them.
Math Puns
Did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing the river?
It was three feet deep on average.
Quotes
“A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.”
Groucho Marx
Onion Puns
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
Tiger Puns
Q: Why did the tiger cross the road?
A: To stop the zebra crossing.
Flamingo Puns
Have you ever tried crossing a lion with a flamingo? It will be pink, that’s the mane thing.
I once tried crossing a flamingo with a cement mixer. Sounds crazy, but I really wanted a good brick layer.
Spice Puns
One day, tamarind, curry and ice were crossing the road. All of a sudden they heard a gunshot. Then, tamabrind ball, curry duck and ice-cream!
Meat Puns
Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it “lily livered”.
Basketball Puns
I saw the chicken quickly crossing the basketball court? Then I remembered that the referee was blowing fowls.
Nuts Puns
What did the nut tell itself before crossing the finish line? “I pe-can do it!”
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