Crossing Jokes

“A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.”
Groucho Marx
Why are the railroad tracks angry? Because people are always crossing them.
I saw the chicken quickly crossing the basketball court? Then I remembered that the referee was blowing fowls.
Q: Why did the tiger cross the road?
A: To stop the zebra crossing.
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
Did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing the river?
It was three feet deep on average.
"A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere."
Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it “lily livered”.
Have you ever tried crossing a lion with a flamingo? It will be pink, that’s the mane thing.
I once tried crossing a flamingo with a cement mixer. Sounds crazy, but I really wanted a good brick layer.
What did the lollipop lady say to the zebra crossing?
'You're stripping me of a job.'
I saw a guy trying to cross a really busy street. Trying to be helpful, I said, “You know, there is a zebra crossing 50ft ahead.”
He said, “I hope he’s having a better luck than I am.”
What did the nut tell itself before crossing the finish line? “I pe-can do it!”
One day, tamarind, curry and ice were crossing the road. All of a sudden they heard a gunshot. Then, tamabrind ball, curry duck and ice-cream!
I once dreamt of crossing a wide river...
But it ended up being just a ferry tale.
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