I just love the way the Earth rotates.
It really makes my day.
An Optimist and Pessimist wall into a bar.
The optimist orders a drink while the pessimist puts ice on the bruise.
If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you’d be in Seine.
A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing but you actually mean your mother.
A mathematician walks into a bar and says, “One beer for me, and 10 beers each for all my friends!”
Bartender: "Now that’s an order of magnitude!"
A photon is going through airport security. The TSA agent asks if he has any luggage. The photon says, "No, I'm traveling light."
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip? To get to the same side.
They say a Freudian slip is when you say one thing, but you really mean your mother.
A recent finding by statisticians found that the average human has one breast and one testicle.
I had this crazy dream where I was virtually weightless
I was like 0mg
Einstein, Newton, and Pascal decide to play hide-and-seek. Einstein is "It," closes his eyes, counts to 10, and then opens them. Pascal is nowhere to be seen. Newton is sitting right in front of Einstein, with a piece of chalk in his hand. He's sitting in a box drawn on the ground, a meter to one side. Einstein says, "Newton, you're terrible, I've found you!" Newton says, "No no, no. You've found one Newton per square meter. You've found Pascal!"
Why did Stalin only write in lower case?
he was afraid of capitalism.
A mosquito cried out in great pain,
"A chemist has poisoned my brain!"
And the cause of his sorrow
Was para-dichloro-
Diphenyl-trichloroethane.
There was a fire in a yodelling school.
Everyone was to exit in an orderly orderly orderly fashion.
A couple years ago my therapist told me I had problems letting go of the past.
Your mama is so classless, she could be a Marxist utopia.
Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He's 0K now.
What's the difference between an etymologist and an entomologist?
An etymologist knows the difference.
A pun, a play on words and a limerick walk into a bar.
No joke.
According to my therapist, I have extreme trouble verbalizing my emotions.
Can’t say I’m surprised.
Two behaviorists make love. When they are done, one turns to the other and says: "That was good for you. Was it good for me?"
Two sociologists are sitting by the pool. One turns to the other and asks, "Have you read Marx?" to which he replies, "Yes, it's these damn wicker chairs."
A sign at a music shop: “Gone Chopin. Bach in a minuet.”
Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? All they said was, “Bach, Bach, Bach …”
Did you hear about the math professor who was afraid of negative numbers?
He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
What do you get when you combine a joke with a rhetorical question?
There are 10 types of people in this world. Those that know binary, and those that don't.
Sodium-Sodium-Sodium-Sodium-Sodium-Sodium-Sodium-Sodium-Sodium-Sodium-Sodium-Sodium-Sodium --- Batman!
There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.
Heisenberg was speeding down the highway. A cop pulls him over and says "Do you have any idea how fast you were going back there?" Heisenberg says, "No, but I knew where I was."
I have an inferiority complex but it's not a very good one.
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a Dutchman are all on a zoom call.
The four men are all on a zoom call with their boss. Their boss asks “Can you see me?” and they respond
“Yes”
“Oui”
“Si”
“Ja”
Why do Communists drink herbal tea?
Because proper tea is theft.
Go to BabaMail
