It’s so hot that my chocolate milk is now hot cocoa.
It’s so hot they installed a fan in the debt ceiling.
It’s so hot fire ants are really on fire.
It's so hot out that I cleaned my fridge just so I could hang out in my fridge for a while.
It’s so hot Jehovah’s Witnesses started telemarketing.
It’s so hot polar bears are wearing sunscreen.
It’s so hot I started putting ice cubes in my waterbed.
It’s so hot chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
It’s so hot the catfish are already fried when you catch them.
It’s so hot I almost called my ex so I could be around something shady.
It’s so hot the cows are producing evaporated milk.
It’s so hot I set the house on fire just to cool off.
It’s so hot all the sand on the beach is now glass.
It’s so hot that the oven got jealous.
It’s so hot you can pull a leaf off a tree and iron with it.
It’s so hot you realize asphalt has a liquid state.
It was so hot that the soles of my shoes melted.
It’s so hot the frozen pizza I bought at the grocery store was ready to eat by the time I got home.
It’s so hot everyone is wearing sweat pants.
It’s so hot the trees are whistling for the dogs.
It’s so hot granny broke wind just to have a little breeze.
It's so hot, I saw a guy with a sign that said, "Will work for shade."
It’s so hot that farmers are feeding ice to the chickens so they won’t lay boiled eggs.
It’s so hot that the clams were already steamed when I dug them up.
It’s so hot you can wash and dry your clothes at the same time.
It’s so hot, when the temperature drops below 95 I start to feel chilly.
It’s so hot that Tabasco sauce tastes mild.
It’s so hot I saw a squirrel picking up nuts with potholders.
It’s so hot you discover that it only takes 2 fingers to drive your car.
It’s so hot firecrackers light themselves.
It’s so hot my campfire lit itself.
It’s so hot that you can’t make a chili dog.
It’s so hot all chocolate is hot chocolate.
It was so hot that my gold jewelry melted.
It’s so hot that my sprinkler released steam.
It’s so hot Optimus Prime transformed into an air conditioner.
It’s so hot my thermometer goes up to “Are you kidding me?”
It’s so hot I discovered my seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
It's so hot that I went to hell just to cool off.
It’s so hot Adam and Eve traded their fig leaves for ice cubes.
It’s so hot the Statue of Liberty was asked to lower her arm.
It's so hot I saw an Amish guy buy an air conditioner.
It’s so hot even my wife’s heart is melting.
It’s so hot you need a spatula to remove your clothing.