It’s so hot McDonald’s is frying burgers on parked cars.
It’s so hot even my wife’s heart is melting.
It’s so hot your clothes iron themselves.
It’s so hot that farmers are feeding ice to the chickens so they won’t lay boiled eggs.
It’s so hot my campfire lit itself.
It’s so hot you can pull a leaf off a tree and iron with it.
It’s so hot I saw two hydrants fight over a dog.
It's so hot that all the water buffalo at the zoo evaporated.
It’s so hot that my sprinkler released steam.
It was so hot that I poured boiling water on myself to cool down.
It’s so hot I saw the Devil in Wal-Mart buying an air conditioner.
It’s so hot all the sand on the beach is now glass.
It’s so hot that I’m using Celsius instead of Fahrenheit just to have a lower number.
It’s so hot that the only waves at the beach were heatwaves.
It's so hot out that I cleaned my fridge just so I could hang out in my fridge for a while.
It’s so hot I’m sweating like a politician on election day.
It’s so hot I saw a chicken lay an omelet.
It was so hot that the soles of my shoes melted.
It's so hot that I went to hell just to cool off.
It’s so hot my dream house is an igloo.
It’s so hot I got condensation on my backside from the water in the toilet bowl.
It’s so hot chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
It was so hot that my gold jewelry melted.
It’s so hot fire ants are really on fire.
It’s so hot I saw a cop chasing a thief and they were both walking.
It’s so hot that Tabasco sauce tastes mild.
It’s so hot everyone is wearing sweat pants.
It’s so hot Optimus Prime transformed into an air conditioner.
It’s so hot that you can poach eggs in a pool.
It’s so hot you can wash and dry your clothes at the same time.
It’s so hot that my chocolate milk is now hot cocoa.
It’s so hot even the artificial flowers are dying.
It’s so hot I saw a squirrel picking up nuts with potholders.
It's so hot that you can fry an egg on the sidewalk!
It’s so hot the frozen pizza I bought at the grocery store was ready to eat by the time I got home.
It’s so hot polar bears are wearing sunscreen.
It’s so hot I almost called my ex so I could be around something shady.
It’s so hot I discovered my seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
It’s so hot the cows are producing evaporated milk.
It’s so hot you realize asphalt has a liquid state.
It’s so hot that I renamed my pig “Bacon.”
It’s so hot you need a spatula to remove your clothing.
It’s so hot that I have taken to leaving the toilet seat up just to get those chilling, icy stares from my wife.
It’s so hot I started putting ice cubes in my waterbed.
It’s so hot Jehovah’s Witnesses started telemarketing.
It’s so hot I bought a loaf of bread and by the time I got home, it was toast.
It's so hot outside the ice cream man just change the sign on the side of his truck to "cream."
It’s so hot my thermometer goes up to “Are you kidding me?”
It’s so hot I set the house on fire just to cool off.
It’s so hot the trees are whistling for the dogs.