It’s so hot I started putting ice cubes in my waterbed.
It’s so hot that the clams were already steamed when I dug them up.
It’s so hot that I renamed my pig “Bacon.”
It's so hot I saw an Amish guy buy an air conditioner.
It’s so hot that corn on the stalks starts popping.
It’s so hot that you can’t make a chili dog.
It’s so hot ice pops are melting in the freezer.
It’s so hot the trees are whistling for the dogs.
It’s so hot your clothes iron themselves.
It's so hot that all the water buffalo at the zoo evaporated.
It’s so hot I saw a squirrel picking up nuts with potholders.
It’s so hot Adam and Eve traded their fig leaves for ice cubes.
It’s so hot granny broke wind just to have a little breeze.
It’s so hot that Tabasco sauce tastes mild.
It's so hot, I saw a guy with a sign that said, "Will work for shade."
It’s so hot I’m sweating like a politician on election day.
It’s so hot everyone is wearing sweat pants.
It’s so hot I almost called my ex so I could be around something shady.
It’s so hot the frozen pizza I bought at the grocery store was ready to eat by the time I got home.
It’s so hot even the artificial flowers are dying.
It was so hot that the soles of my shoes melted.
It's so hot that I went to hell just to cool off.
It’s so hot my dream house is an igloo.
It's so hot out that I cleaned my fridge just so I could hang out in my fridge for a while.
It's so hot that you can fry an egg on the sidewalk!
It was so hot that my gold jewelry melted.
It’s so hot the cows are producing evaporated milk.
It’s so hot that I have taken to leaving the toilet seat up just to get those chilling, icy stares from my wife.
It’s so hot the catfish are already fried when you catch them.
It’s so hot, when the temperature drops below 95 I start to feel chilly.
It’s so hot that my chocolate milk is now hot cocoa.
It’s so hot Jehovah’s Witnesses started telemarketing.
It’s so hot you can wash and dry your clothes at the same time.
It's so hot outside the ice cream man just change the sign on the side of his truck to "cream."
It’s so hot the best parking place is determined by the shade instead of the distance.
It’s so hot I saw a heatwave and I waved back.
It’s so hot polar bears are wearing sunscreen.
It’s so hot that hot water now comes out of both taps.
It’s so hot my campfire lit itself.
It’s so hot Optimus Prime transformed into an air conditioner.
It’s so hot you can pull a leaf off a tree and iron with it.
It’s so hot my thermometer goes up to “Are you kidding me?”
It’s so hot I discovered my seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
It’s so hot you realize asphalt has a liquid state.
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