It's so hot out that I cleaned my fridge just so I could hang out in my fridge for a while.
It’s so hot firecrackers light themselves.
It’s so hot I saw a heatwave and I waved back.
It’s so hot all chocolate is hot chocolate.
It’s so hot that hot water now comes out of both taps.
It’s so hot McDonald’s is frying burgers on parked cars.
It’s so hot granny broke wind just to have a little breeze.
It’s so hot fire ants are really on fire.
It’s so hot, when the temperature drops below 95 I start to feel chilly.
It’s so hot that my chocolate milk is now hot cocoa.
It’s so hot I set the house on fire just to cool off.
It’s so hot Jehovah’s Witnesses started telemarketing.
It’s so hot all the sand on the beach is now glass.
It’s so hot that you can poach eggs in a pool.
It was so hot that I poured boiling water on myself to cool down.
It’s so hot I bought a loaf of bread and by the time I got home, it was toast.
It’s so hot that you can’t make a chili dog.
It’s so hot you can pull a leaf off a tree and iron with it.
It’s so hot that I’m using Celsius instead of Fahrenheit just to have a lower number.
It’s so hot the trees are whistling for the dogs.
It’s so hot my campfire lit itself.
It’s so hot even the artificial flowers are dying.
It’s so hot that corn on the stalks starts popping.
It’s so hot I saw a chicken lay an omelet.
It's so hot outside the ice cream man just change the sign on the side of his truck to "cream."
It was so hot that my gold jewelry melted.
It’s so hot I started putting ice cubes in my waterbed.
It’s so hot I got condensation on my backside from the water in the toilet bowl.
It's so hot that all the water buffalo at the zoo evaporated.
It’s so hot you need a spatula to remove your clothing.
It's so hot, I saw a guy with a sign that said, "Will work for shade."
It's so hot I saw an Amish guy buy an air conditioner.
It’s so hot the birds are using oven mitts to pull worms out of the ground.
It’s so hot the catfish are already fried when you catch them.
It’s so hot chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
It was so hot that the soles of my shoes melted.
It’s so hot that the only waves at the beach were heatwaves.
It's so hot that I went to hell just to cool off.
It’s so hot the frozen pizza I bought at the grocery store was ready to eat by the time I got home.
It’s so hot that I have taken to leaving the toilet seat up just to get those chilling, icy stares from my wife.
It’s so hot I discovered my seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
It’s so hot even my wife’s heart is melting.
It’s so hot that farmers are feeding ice to the chickens so they won’t lay boiled eggs.
It’s so hot that my kite crashed and burned.