It’s so hot I got condensation on my backside from the water in the toilet bowl.
It’s so hot that hot water now comes out of both taps.
It’s so hot you can wash and dry your clothes at the same time.
It’s so hot I wish had got the cloth seats instead of the leather ones.
It’s so hot that farmers are feeding ice to the chickens so they won’t lay boiled eggs.
It’s so hot that Tabasco sauce tastes mild.
It’s so hot my campfire lit itself.
It’s so hot that my kite crashed and burned.
It’s so hot the trees are whistling for the dogs.
It’s so hot all chocolate is hot chocolate.
It’s so hot even my wife’s heart is melting.
It's so hot that all the water buffalo at the zoo evaporated.
It’s so hot I bought a loaf of bread and by the time I got home, it was toast.
It’s so hot I’m sweating like a politician on election day.
It’s so hot ice pops are melting in the freezer.
It’s so hot I saw the Devil in Wal-Mart buying an air conditioner.
It’s so hot I saw a chicken lay an omelet.
It’s so hot that the only waves at the beach were heatwaves.
It’s so hot my thermometer goes up to “Are you kidding me?”
It’s so hot I saw a squirrel picking up nuts with potholders.
It’s so hot your clothes iron themselves.
It’s so hot that the clams were already steamed when I dug them up.
It’s so hot that corn on the stalks starts popping.
It’s so hot that I renamed my pig “Bacon.”
It’s so hot the catfish are already fried when you catch them.
It’s so hot the best parking place is determined by the shade instead of the distance.
It’s so hot I discovered my seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
It’s so hot firecrackers light themselves.
It’s so hot I saw a heatwave and I waved back.
It’s so hot that my sprinkler released steam.
It’s so hot polar bears are wearing sunscreen.
It’s so hot the cows are producing evaporated milk.
It’s so hot fire ants are really on fire.
It’s so hot they installed a fan in the debt ceiling.
It’s so hot I set the house on fire just to cool off.
It’s so hot Adam and Eve traded their fig leaves for ice cubes.
It’s so hot you realize asphalt has a liquid state.
It's so hot, I saw a guy with a sign that said, "Will work for shade."
It’s so hot all the sand on the beach is now glass.
It was so hot that the soles of my shoes melted.
It’s so hot Optimus Prime transformed into an air conditioner.
It was so hot that my gold jewelry melted.
It’s so hot you need a spatula to remove your clothing.
It’s so hot Jehovah’s Witnesses started telemarketing.
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