It was so hot that my gold jewelry melted.
It’s so hot that hot water now comes out of both taps.
It's so hot that all the water buffalo at the zoo evaporated.
It’s so hot that I have taken to leaving the toilet seat up just to get those chilling, icy stares from my wife.
It’s so hot chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
It’s so hot the catfish are already fried when you catch them.
It’s so hot you discover that it only takes 2 fingers to drive your car.
It’s so hot that my chocolate milk is now hot cocoa.
It’s so hot they installed a fan in the debt ceiling.
It’s so hot firecrackers light themselves.
It's so hot out that I cleaned my fridge just so I could hang out in my fridge for a while.
It's so hot outside the ice cream man just change the sign on the side of his truck to "cream."
It's so hot out that my sweat is sweating.
It’s so hot all chocolate is hot chocolate.
It’s so hot I wish had got the cloth seats instead of the leather ones.
It’s so hot that you can poach eggs in a pool.
It’s so hot granny broke wind just to have a little breeze.
It's so hot that you can fry an egg on the sidewalk!
It’s so hot my thermometer goes up to “Are you kidding me?”
It’s so hot that I renamed my pig “Bacon.”
It’s so hot I saw the Devil in Wal-Mart buying an air conditioner.
It's so hot that I went to hell just to cool off.
It’s so hot I discovered my seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
It’s so hot Optimus Prime transformed into an air conditioner.
It's so hot, I saw a guy with a sign that said, "Will work for shade."
It’s so hot the frozen pizza I bought at the grocery store was ready to eat by the time I got home.
It’s so hot I got condensation on my backside from the water in the toilet bowl.
It’s so hot that corn on the stalks starts popping.
It’s so hot your clothes iron themselves.
It’s so hot ice pops are melting in the freezer.
It’s so hot that the clams were already steamed when I dug them up.
It’s so hot polar bears are wearing sunscreen.
It’s so hot the best parking place is determined by the shade instead of the distance.
It’s so hot I started putting ice cubes in my waterbed.
It’s so hot the birds are using oven mitts to pull worms out of the ground.
It’s so hot I saw a squirrel picking up nuts with potholders.
It’s so hot that the only waves at the beach were heatwaves.
It’s so hot outside I just saw two hobbits throw a ring off my roof.
It’s so hot that my sprinkler released steam.
It was so hot that I poured boiling water on myself to cool down.
It’s so hot fire ants are really on fire.
It’s so hot all the sand on the beach is now glass.
It’s so hot the cows are producing evaporated milk.
It’s so hot even the artificial flowers are dying.