It’s so hot fire ants are really on fire.
It’s so hot you discover that it only takes 2 fingers to drive your car.
It’s so hot ice pops are melting in the freezer.
It’s so hot Adam and Eve traded their fig leaves for ice cubes.
It’s so hot that the clams were already steamed when I dug them up.
It’s so hot that I have taken to leaving the toilet seat up just to get those chilling, icy stares from my wife.
It’s so hot that farmers are feeding ice to the chickens so they won’t lay boiled eggs.
It’s so hot granny broke wind just to have a little breeze.
It's so hot that all the water buffalo at the zoo evaporated.
It’s so hot that the only waves at the beach were heatwaves.
It’s so hot that hot water now comes out of both taps.
It’s so hot you need a spatula to remove your clothing.
It’s so hot my thermometer goes up to “Are you kidding me?”
It’s so hot that Tabasco sauce tastes mild.
It’s so hot that I’m using Celsius instead of Fahrenheit just to have a lower number.
It’s so hot all the sand on the beach is now glass.
It’s so hot Optimus Prime transformed into an air conditioner.
It’s so hot polar bears are wearing sunscreen.
It’s so hot Jehovah’s Witnesses started telemarketing.
It’s so hot I bought a loaf of bread and by the time I got home, it was toast.
It’s so hot I’m sweating like a politician on election day.
It’s so hot that the oven got jealous.
It’s so hot chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
It’s so hot all chocolate is hot chocolate.
It’s so hot you can wash and dry your clothes at the same time.
It’s so hot I set the house on fire just to cool off.
It’s so hot firecrackers light themselves.
It’s so hot my campfire lit itself.
It’s so hot the cows are producing evaporated milk.
It’s so hot the Statue of Liberty was asked to lower her arm.
It’s so hot you realize asphalt has a liquid state.
It’s so hot I almost called my ex so I could be around something shady.
It’s so hot McDonald’s is frying burgers on parked cars.
It’s so hot I saw the Devil in Wal-Mart buying an air conditioner.
It’s so hot I started putting ice cubes in my waterbed.
It’s so hot I wish had got the cloth seats instead of the leather ones.
It’s so hot I saw a cop chasing a thief and they were both walking.
It’s so hot they installed a fan in the debt ceiling.
It's so hot out that my sweat is sweating.
It's so hot that I went to hell just to cool off.
It’s so hot even my wife’s heart is melting.
It’s so hot I saw two hydrants fight over a dog.
It's so hot I saw an Amish guy buy an air conditioner.
It’s so hot my dream house is an igloo.
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