Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest.
In Pamplona, Spain, the people may be running from the bulls, but the bulls are running from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. Too many tsunamis.
Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.
Chuck Norris doesn’t shower, he only takes blood baths.
Chuck Norris invented airplanes because he was tired of being the only person that could fly.
When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Chuck Norris can delete the recycling bin.
Chuck Norris has died aged 79.
But Death is too scared to let him know.
The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Chuck Norris’s fist.
When Chuck Norris smokes a joint
the weed gets high of Chuck Norris.
A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection.
Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's beef.
Chuck Norris can dribble a bowling ball.
Chuck Norris can ski up a mountain.
Champions are the breakfast of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once bowled a perfect game with a marble.
Have you heard that Chuck Norris has started building non-sqaure homes?
He's on a round house kick.
When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital.
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of Pi.
The real reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Chuck Norris is Jewish.
Chuck Norris doesn't hoard toilet paper.
He's used the same napkin since 1974. He just scares the sh*t out of it.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris doesnt eat honey, he chews bees.
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
Chuck Norris’ cowboy boots are made from real cowboys.
Chuck Norris was bitten by the worlds most venemous snake.
After hours of excruciating pain and misery, the snake died.
Chuck Norris has a bear rug.
No it's not dead it's just too scared to move
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet as Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.
Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
Big foot claims he saw Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can have both feet on the ground and kick butt at the same time
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris doesn't ever call the wrong number. You just answer the wrong phone.
Earlier today I was wondering if it was possible to abort Chuck Norris..
..then I realized he was aborted.
What happens when Chuck Norris lifts Thor Hammer?
The hammer explodes because it is not worthy.
Chuck Norris spices up his steaks with pepper spray.
How does Chuck Norris sharpen his blades?
By shaving with them.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light
M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris CAN touch this.
Chuck Norris caught COVID.
But then he felt bad, so he let it go.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity… twice.
The Dead Sea used to be alive...
... but then Chuck Norris swam in it.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
When Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity... he got it back.