Chuck Norris once trew a party.
It still hasn't landed.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity… twice.
The reason the Holy Grail has never been recovered is because nobody is brave enough to ask Chuck Norris to give up his favourite coffee mug.
How does Chuck Norris sharpen his blades?
By shaving with them.
The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Chuck Norris’s fist.
Chuck Norris spices up his steaks with pepper spray.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he’s pushing the Earth down.
On the 7th day, God rested … and Chuck Norris took over.
One time Chuck Norris peed in the gas tank of a semi truck as a practical joke.
That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
When Chuck Norris smokes a joint
the weed gets high of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris invented airplanes because he was tired of being the only person that could fly.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
When Chuck Norris enters the room, even the chairs are standing up.
What's the one office supply you never want to ask Chuck Norris to give you?
The Three-Hole Punch.
The real reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Chuck Norris is Jewish.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a roof in his house
Cold and wind don't dare come in.
Did you know Chuck Norris was in every star wars movie?
He played the force.
Chuck Norris changed a lightbulb...
With one hand he held the bulb, with the other he turned the house.
When Chuck Norris moved out, his dad became the man of the house.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.
Chuck Norris once went to mars. Thats why there are no signs of life.
Why did Chuck Norris cross the road?
He didn't. The road moved back underneath him.
When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.
Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet as Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn't try to survive. The zombies do.
When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.
Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a salesman. Over the phone.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris once bowled a perfect game with a marble.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It didn’t work.
Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest.
Chuck Norris’ tears can cure you of the coronavirus.
Too bad he doesn’t cry.
Chuck Norris once had a heart attack. His heart lost.
Chuck Norris walks into a bar...
The bar breaks in half.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are now known as giraffes.
Chuck Norris is a coward!
If that sucker was so brave as people say he would show up here right now and smash my head against my key
Chuck Norris can only have Chuck Norris as babies.
Because all of his genes are dominant.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Chuck refers to himself in the fourth person.
Chuck Norris doesn’t shower, he only takes blood baths.
Chuck Norris can clap with one hand.
Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.
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