Champions are the breakfast of Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris smokes a joint
the weed gets high of Chuck Norris.
Big foot claims he saw Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
Chuck Norris caught Covid-19 yesterday
The virus is quarantined for two weeks
Chuck Norris is the only person that can punch a cyclops between the eye.
Chuck Norris won a 10 minute race after giving his competitors a 10 minute head start.
Chuck Norris never retreats; He just attacks in the opposite direction.
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris undies.
What kind of House does Chuck Norris live in?
A Round House.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.
Have you heard that Chuck Norris has started building non-sqaure homes?
He's on a round house kick.
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris was bitten by the worlds most venemous snake.
After hours of excruciating pain and misery, the snake died.
Chuck Norris has died aged 79.
But Death is too scared to let him know.
Chuck Norris fell into a black hole.
The black hole couldn't escape.
When Chuck Norris goes skydiving
the earth falls toward him.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
How does Chuck Norris sharpen his blades?
By shaving with them.
Why did Chuck Norris wear knee pads?
He never liked Bruised Knee.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to flush the toilet. He simply goes "Boo!" and anything in the bowl promptly rushes away.
Chuck Norris fell down from a 10 story building.
people start gathering around him, asking "What happened? what happened?"
Chuck: "Don't know, I just got here."
The only time Chuck Norris was ever wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.
Chuck Norris once went to mars. Thats why there are no signs of life.
A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection.
Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, because no one fools Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. Too many tsunamis.
Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will change the spelling.
Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.
Chuck Norris can hit you so hard your blood will bleed.
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on,
he turns the dark off.
Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can cut a knife with butter.
When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn't try to survive. The zombies do.
Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
Chuck Norris is a coward!
If that sucker was so brave as people say he would show up here right now and smash my head against my key
What happens when Chuck Norris lifts Thor Hammer?
The hammer explodes because it is not worthy.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's beef.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Before he forgot to bring a gift for Chuck Norris, Santa Claus was real.
Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.
One time Chuck Norris peed in the gas tank of a semi truck as a practical joke.
That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris can start a fire with an ice cube.
The real reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Chuck Norris is Jewish.
Chuck Norris' keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key, because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
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