Chuck Norris's Blood Type is AK-47.
What happens when Chuck Norris lifts Thor Hammer?
The hammer explodes because it is not worthy.
Chuck Norris doesn’t shower, he only takes blood baths.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will change the spelling.
Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.
On the 7th day, God rested … and Chuck Norris took over.
Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, because no one fools Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn't try to survive. The zombies do.
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on,
he turns the dark off.
Chuck Norris invented airplanes because he was tired of being the only person that could fly.
Champions are the breakfast of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”
Chuck Norris once trew a party.
It still hasn't landed.
Chuck Norris can only have Chuck Norris as babies.
Because all of his genes are dominant.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a roof in his house
Cold and wind don't dare come in.
Chuck Norris has a diary. It's called the Guinness Book of World Records.
Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
When Chuck Norris moved out, his dad became the man of the house.
Chuck Norris can beat his reflection at rock paper scissors.
Did you know Chuck Norris was in every star wars movie?
He played the force.
A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at a Burger King. He got it.
Chuck Norris once heard that nothing can kill him
So he tracked down nothing and killed it.
Chuck Norris once went to mars. Thats why there are no signs of life.
Big foot claims he saw Chuck Norris.
Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.
Chuck Norris used to beat up his shadow because it was following too close. It now stands 15 feet behind him.
Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.
One time Chuck Norris peed in the gas tank of a semi truck as a practical joke.
That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
This morning Chuck Norris was shot.
Check the news, The bullet is in critical condition
In Pamplona, Spain, the people may be running from the bulls, but the bulls are running from Chuck Norris.
When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris.
Have you heard that Chuck Norris has started building non-sqaure homes?
He's on a round house kick.
Chuck Norris can hit you so hard your blood will bleed.
Some kids pee their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can pee his name in dry concrete.
Chuck Norris can start a fire with an ice cube.
Why did Chuck Norris cross the road?
He didn't. The road moved back underneath him.
M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris CAN touch this.
Chuck Norris tells Simon what to do.
Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."
It’s a little known fact that chuck Norris was dropped twice as a child.
Once on Hiroshima and once on Nagasaki.
Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest.
Chuck Norris once had a heart attack. His heart lost.
Chuck Norris can speak braille.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris' keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key, because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
Go to BabaMail
