In Pamplona, Spain, the people may be running from the bulls, but the bulls are running from Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
In the Beginning there was nothing … then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at a Burger King. He got it.
Chuck Norris can speak braille.
When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn't try to survive. The zombies do.
Why did Chuck Norris wear knee pads?
He never liked Bruised Knee.
Chuck Norris's computer has no "backspace" button, Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes.
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real, it's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
Chuck Norris doesn’t breathe, he holds air hostage.
Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has a diary. It's called the Guinness Book of World Records.
Chuck Norris drinks napalm to fight his heartburn.
Chuck Norris can dribble a bowling ball.
Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris.
Have you heard that Chuck Norris has started building non-sqaure homes?
He's on a round house kick.
The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. Once.
Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
Chuck Norris spices up his steaks with pepper spray.
What kind of House does Chuck Norris live in?
A Round House.
Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”
Big foot claims he saw Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.
When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital.
Naming a bridge after Chuck Norris is a really bad idea
Because no one crosses Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris breathes air … five times a day.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
On the 7th day, God rested … and Chuck Norris took over.
Chuck Norris's Blood Type is AK-47.
The real reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Chuck Norris is Jewish.
Chuck Norris can have both feet on the ground and kick butt at the same time
Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a salesman. Over the phone.
When Chuck Norris goes scuba diving
He gives the water the bends.
Chuck Norris has a bear rug.
No it's not dead it's just too scared to move
Chuck Norris has died aged 79.
But Death is too scared to let him know.
Chuck Norris can stand at the bottom of a bottomless pit.
Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a roof in his house
Cold and wind don't dare come in.
Chuck Norris has a gun for breakfast at ate a glock every morning.
Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
This morning Chuck Norris was shot.
Check the news, The bullet is in critical condition
M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris CAN touch this.
When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris goes skydiving
the earth falls toward him.
Chuck Norris can cut a knife with butter.
Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.
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