Chuck Norris doesn't ever call the wrong number. You just answer the wrong phone.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris has a gun for breakfast at ate a glock every morning.
Chuck Norris can cut a knife with butter.
Chuck Norris just put up a new sign outside his house...
It says 'Welcome, Spanish Inquisition!'
When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.
Chuck Norris can have both feet on the ground and kick butt at the same time
Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. Too many tsunamis.
Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 50 people
Then the grenade exploded.
What kind of House does Chuck Norris live in?
A Round House.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
Chuck Norris has a diary. It's called the Guinness Book of World Records.
The Dead Sea used to be alive...
... but then Chuck Norris swam in it.
Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
Chuck Norris once trew a party.
It still hasn't landed.
Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.
Chuck Norris once went to mars. Thats why there are no signs of life.
Chuck Norris doesn’t breathe, he holds air hostage.
Chuck Norris has a mug of nails instead of coffee in the morning.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at a Burger King. He got it.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are now known as giraffes.
Chuck Norris caught COVID.
But then he felt bad, so he let it go.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
Champions are the breakfast of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.
Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest.
Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a salesman. Over the phone.
Chuck Norris breathes air … five times a day.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.
When Chuck Norris moved out, his dad became the man of the house.
When Chuck Norris enters the room, even the chairs are standing up.
The reason the Holy Grail has never been recovered is because nobody is brave enough to ask Chuck Norris to give up his favourite coffee mug.
Chuck Norris once heard that nothing can kill him
So he tracked down nothing and killed it.
How does Chuck Norris sharpen his blades?
By shaving with them.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. Once.
Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
If Chuck Norris were to travel to an alternate dimension in which there was another Chuck Norris and they both fought, they would both win.
Chuck Norris doesn’t mow his lawn
He sits on his porch and dares it to grow.
Chuck Norris can clap with one hand.
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's beef.
Chuck Norris is what Willis was talkin about.
This morning Chuck Norris was shot.
Check the news, The bullet is in critical condition
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
Chuck Norris fell down from a 10 story building.
people start gathering around him, asking "What happened? what happened?"
Chuck: "Don't know, I just got here."
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