When Bruce Banner gets mad he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad he turns into Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris gets mad, run.
Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
Chuck Norris’ cowboy boots are made from real cowboys.
Chuck Norris has died.
He has since recovered from this mild inconvenience.
Chuck Norris can clap with one hand.
What happens when Chuck Norris lifts Thor Hammer?
The hammer explodes because it is not worthy.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
What's the one office supply you never want to ask Chuck Norris to give you?
The Three-Hole Punch.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection.
Chuck Norris has a mug of nails instead of coffee in the morning.
Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It didn’t work.
Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 50 people
Then the grenade exploded.
Chuck Norris is what Willis was talkin about.
Chuck Norris has died aged 79.
But Death is too scared to let him know.
Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
Chuck Norris drinks napalm to fight his heartburn.
In Pamplona, Spain, the people may be running from the bulls, but the bulls are running from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will change the spelling.
Chuck Norris can speak braille.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
Chuck Norris has a bear rug.
No it's not dead it's just too scared to move
Chuck Norris breathes air … five times a day.
Chuck Norris is a coward!
If that sucker was so brave as people say he would show up here right now and smash my head against my key
Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. Too many tsunamis.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
If Chuck Norris were to travel to an alternate dimension in which there was another Chuck Norris and they both fought, they would both win.
The flu gets a Chuck Norris shot every year.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris can stand at the bottom of a bottomless pit.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to flush the toilet. He simply goes "Boo!" and anything in the bowl promptly rushes away.
Chuck Norris once heard that nothing can kill him
So he tracked down nothing and killed it.
Chuck Norris once bowled a perfect game with a marble.
When Chuck Norris enters the room, even the chairs are standing up.
Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a salesman. Over the phone.
Chuck Norris won a 10 minute race after giving his competitors a 10 minute head start.
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on,
he turns the dark off.
Chuck Norris's Blood Type is AK-47.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris tells Simon what to do.
Chuck Norris looked directly at the sun today...
And the sun got so scared it hid behind the moon.
Chuck Norris caught COVID.
But then he felt bad, so he let it go.
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris undies.
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