What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died?
His Shoe.
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
What kind of House does Chuck Norris live in?
A Round House.
Chuck Norris’ tears can cure you of the coronavirus.
Too bad he doesn’t cry.
Chuck Norris is the only person that can punch a cyclops between the eye.
Chuck Norris's computer has no "backspace" button, Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes.
What happens when Chuck Norris lifts Thor Hammer?
The hammer explodes because it is not worthy.
Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, because no one fools Chuck Norris.
Big foot claims he saw Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.
Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet as Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.
Chuck Norris once went to mars. Thats why there are no signs of life.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real, it's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
It’s a little known fact that chuck Norris was dropped twice as a child.
Once on Hiroshima and once on Nagasaki.
Chuck Norris is what Willis was talkin about.
Chuck Norris can clap with one hand.
Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to flush the toilet. He simply goes "Boo!" and anything in the bowl promptly rushes away.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
This morning Chuck Norris was shot.
Check the news, The bullet is in critical condition
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris’ cowboy boots are made from real cowboys.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Chuck Norris can start a fire with an ice cube.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a roof in his house
Cold and wind don't dare come in.
Chuck Norris invented airplanes because he was tired of being the only person that could fly.
In the Beginning there was nothing … then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job.
When Bruce Banner gets mad he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad he turns into Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris gets mad, run.
Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
Chuck Norris walks into a bar...
The bar breaks in half.
When Chuck Norris writes, he makes paper bleed.
The real reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Chuck Norris is Jewish.
The Dead Sea used to be alive...
... but then Chuck Norris swam in it.
Chuck Norris once had a heart attack. His heart lost.
Chuck Norris doesn't have good aim. His bullets just know better than to miss.
The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Chuck Norris’s fist.
How does Chuck Norris sharpen his blades?
By shaving with them.
Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
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