Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a roof in his house
Cold and wind don't dare come in.
Chuck Norris has a mug of nails instead of coffee in the morning.
Chuck Norris doesn’t shower, he only takes blood baths.
Chuck Norris is what Willis was talkin about.
Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris.
If Chuck Norris were to travel to an alternate dimension in which there was another Chuck Norris and they both fought, they would both win.
Chuck Norris just put up a new sign outside his house...
It says 'Welcome, Spanish Inquisition!'
Chuck Norris tells Simon what to do.
Chuck Norris has a gun for breakfast at ate a glock every morning.
Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.
What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died?
His Shoe.
Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
Chuck Norris can dribble a bowling ball.
Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
Chuck Norris caught Covid-19 yesterday
The virus is quarantined for two weeks
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.
Chuck Norris's computer has no "backspace" button, Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes.
Chuck Norris once heard that nothing can kill him
So he tracked down nothing and killed it.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. Too many tsunamis.
Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 50 people
Then the grenade exploded.
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on,
he turns the dark off.
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's beef.
Chuck Norris doesn't pet any animals. Animals pet themselves when he approaches them.
What does Chuck Norris say when fishing?
"you, you and you, get out."
Chuck Norris can beat his reflection at rock paper scissors.
Chuck Norris used to beat up his shadow because it was following too close. It now stands 15 feet behind him.
Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
Chuck Norris can delete the recycling bin.
In the Beginning there was nothing … then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job.
M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris CAN touch this.
The real reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Chuck Norris is Jewish.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris fell down from a 10 story building.
people start gathering around him, asking "What happened? what happened?"
Chuck: "Don't know, I just got here."
Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”
Chuck Norris’ tears can cure you of the coronavirus.
Too bad he doesn’t cry.
Chuck Norris changed a lightbulb...
With one hand he held the bulb, with the other he turned the house.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to flush the toilet. He simply goes "Boo!" and anything in the bowl promptly rushes away.
Big foot claims he saw Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris goes skydiving
the earth falls toward him.
A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection.
Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris can hit you so hard your blood will bleed.
The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Chuck Norris’s fist.