Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesnt eat honey, he chews bees.
Naming a bridge after Chuck Norris is a really bad idea
Because no one crosses Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris doesn't pet any animals. Animals pet themselves when he approaches them.
Chuck Norris doesn't ever call the wrong number. You just answer the wrong phone.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
On the 7th day, God rested … and Chuck Norris took over.
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a roof in his house
Cold and wind don't dare come in.
Chuck Norris has died aged 79.
But Death is too scared to let him know.
Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.
What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died?
His Shoe.
Chuck Norris once stared into the abyss...
It blinked.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
Chuck Norris doesn't have good aim. His bullets just know better than to miss.
The reason the Holy Grail has never been recovered is because nobody is brave enough to ask Chuck Norris to give up his favourite coffee mug.
Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris doesn’t breathe, he holds air hostage.
We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.
The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. Once.
The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Chuck Norris’s fist.
Chuck Norris just put up a new sign outside his house...
It says 'Welcome, Spanish Inquisition!'
Chuck Norris's computer has no "backspace" button, Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes.
Chuck Norris was bitten by the worlds most venemous snake.
After hours of excruciating pain and misery, the snake died.
A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection.
Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will change the spelling.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he’s pushing the Earth down.
When Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity... he got it back.
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real, it's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
Chuck Norris fell into a black hole.
The black hole couldn't escape.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light
Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest.
The real reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Chuck Norris is Jewish.
Chuck Norris once went to mars. Thats why there are no signs of life.
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's beef.
What kind of House does Chuck Norris live in?
A Round House.
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of Pi.
Chuck Norris doesn’t shower, he only takes blood baths.
Chuck Norris can only have Chuck Norris as babies.
Because all of his genes are dominant.
Chuck Norris once bowled a perfect game with a marble.
Chuck Norris once had a heart attack. His heart lost.
Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
Chuck Norris' keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key, because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
When Bruce Banner gets mad he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad he turns into Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris gets mad, run.
Chuck Norris invented airplanes because he was tired of being the only person that could fly.
Go to BabaMail
