Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours? Because it said 'concentrate'.
What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear? "Thanks for the refill!"
Did you ever hear about the blonde who bathed herself and drank cleaning substances? She wanted to be spotless inside and out.
How do you change a blonde's mind? A1: Blow in her ear. A2: Buy her another beer.
Two blonds were driving down the road.
The blond driving looks at her friend in the passenger seat and asks her to see if her blinker is working.
So the blond looks out the window and says, "Yes. No. Yes. No."
“I got a compliment on my driving today,” said a blond to her friend. There was a note left on my windshield it said “parking fine”.
How many dumb blonde jokes are there? None they're all true stories.
What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home? She moved.
What goes: vroooom-schreech, vrooom-schreech, vroooom-schreech? A blonde at a flashing red light
A Blond walks into a doctors office and says:
"Doctor, what’s the problem with me?
When I touch my arm, ouch! It hurts...
When I touch my leg, ouch! it hurts...
When I touch my head, ouch! It hurts...
When I touch my chest, ouch! it really hurts!"
The Doctor replies: "Your finger is broken."
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back
Why do Blondes always smile during lightning storms? They think their picture is being taken.
A blonde stormed up to the front desk of the library and with a screaming voice said, “I have a complaint!”
“How can i help you?” said the librarian looking up at her.
“I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!”
Puzzled by her complain the librarian asked “What was wrong with it?”
“It had way too many characters and there was no plot!” said the blonde.
The librarian nodded and said, “Ahhh. So YOU must be the person who took our phone book."
What happened to the blonde Ice Hockey Team? They drowned in Spring Training
Why do blondes make bad bankrobbers? Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards
This blonde was walking down a road carrying a bag, when a guy came along.
The guy asks, "What are you carrying?"
"Melons," the blonde replies.
"Cool," the guy says.
"If I can guess how many there are, can I have one of them?"
The blonde giggles and says, "If you can guess how many there are, you can have BOTH of them."
Baseball Fan: Have you ever seen a line drive?
Blond Baseball Fan: No, but I have seen a baseball park.
Doctor: "You look exhausted."
Blond: "I am. When your nurse phoned me yesterday and told me that I have to come today for a blood test, I spent the whole night studying for it."
How do you keep a blond busy for 2 days? Give her a piece of paper that has "please turn over" written on both sides.
A blonde goes to a soda machine.
She puts in a dollar and gets a soda.
She does this again and again.
A man in line behind her asks why she is taking so long.
She says, "Can't you see I'm winning?"
Why was the blonde woman talking into an envelope? She was trying to send a voicemail!
What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear? A wind tunnel.
Did you hear about the blonde who gave her cat a bath? She still hasn't gotten all the hair off her tongue.
A Blond walks into a doctors office and says: "Doctor, what’s the problem with me? When I touch my arm, ouch! It hurts... When I touch my leg, ouch! it hurts... When I touch my head, ouch! It hurts... When I touch my chest, ouch! it really hurts!" The Doctor replies: "Your finger is broken."
Why shouldn't you even think about dating the blond outfielder who got hit in the head by a baseball?
Because she's a bad catch.
A blond loses his check book, so he goes to the bank 2 days later to report it.
Bank manager: I warned you to be careful with your check book, because anyone can forge your signature.
Man: "I'm not a fool. I already signed all the checks so there is no space to forge my signature!"
“I got a compliment on my driving today,” said a blonde to her friend.
There was a note left on my windshield it said “parking fine”.
Why did the blonde take a ruler to bed? Because she wanted to measure how long he slept.
A blond was taking helicopter lessons.
The instructor said, "I'll radio you every 1000 feet to see how you're doing."
At 1000 feet, the instructor radioed her and said she was doing great.
At 2000 feet, he said she was still doing well.
Right before she got to 3000 feet, the propeller stopped, and she twirled to the ground.
The instructor ran to where she crash landed and pulled her out of the helicopter. "What went wrong?"
The blond said, "At 2500 feet, I started to get cold, so I turned the big fan off."
A blond rings up an airline. She asks, "How long are your flights from America to England?" The woman on the other end of the phone says, "Just a minute..." The blond says, "Thanks!" and hangs up the phone.
Why do blondes take the pill? So they know what day of the week it is.
What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease? Her IQ goes up!
Two blondes are walking down the road when one says "Look at that dog with one eye!"
The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says "Where?"
Why did the blonde take a camera to bed? To record what she was going to dream that night.
Why did the blond softball team always eat at Taco Bell before a game?
So they'd get more runs than the opponents.
How can you tell a blonde has used your computer? There is white out on the screen.
How many blonde jokes are there?
One. The rest are all true stories.
Why was the blonde woman talking into an envelope? She was trying to send a voicemail!
Why do blondes wear hooped ear rings. So they have somewhere to put their feet when having se*.
How do you sink a submarine full of blondes? Knock on the door.
Why did the Blonde go to Taco Bell? To pay her phone bill.
What do you call a blonde with half a brain? Gifted!
On the first day of training for parachute jumping, a blonde listened intently to the instructor.
He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet.
The blonde asked, “How am I supposed to know when I’m at 300 feet?”
“That’s a good question. When you get to 300 feet, you'll be able to recognize the faces of people on the ground.”
After pondering his answer, she asked, “What happens if there’s no one there I know?”
How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves? She fell out of the tree.
Two blondes fell down a hole.
One said, "It's dark in here isn't it?" The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see!"
Why do Blondes have TGIF written on their shoes? Toes Go In First.
What does a blonde do when her laptop computer freezes? She sticks it in the microwave!
A blonde was cruising down the highway at breakneck speed when a cop pulled her over.
“May I see your license and registration, please?” asked the cop.
Miffed, the blonde said, “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you took away my license and today you want me to show it to you!”
A blond meets up with a friend as she's picking up her car from the mechanic.
"Everything ok with your car now?"
"Yes, thank goodness," the blond replies.
"Weren't you worried the mechanic might try to rip you off?"
"Yeah, but he didn't. I was so relieved when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid!"
Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License? Because she got an "F" in se*.
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