How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms.
How does a blonde kill a worm?
She buries it.
A blond meets up with a friend as she's picking up her car from the mechanic.
"Everything ok with your car now?"
"Yes, thank goodness," the blond replies.
"Weren't you worried the mechanic might try to rip you off?"
"Yeah, but he didn't. I was so relieved when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid!"
Why did the blonde put sugar on her bed? Because she wanted sweet dreams!
One day a blond walks into a doctors office with both of her ears burnt.
The doctor asked her what had happened.
She says, "well... when I was ironing my work suit the phone rang and I picked up the iron instead of the phone by mistake.
"Well that explains one ear, but what about the other?"
"The bastard called again."
What happened to the blonde Ice Hockey Team? They drowned in Spring Training
What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty? A blonde parade.
A blonde goes to a soda machine.
She puts in a dollar and gets a soda.
She does this again and again.
A man in line behind her asks why she is taking so long.
She says, "Can't you see I'm winning?"
How do you keep a blond busy for 2 days?
Give her a piece of paper that has "please turn over" written on both sides.
What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common? They're both empty from the neck up.
Why do Blondes have TGIF written on their shoes? Toes Go In First.
How many blonde jokes are there?
One. The rest are all true stories.
Doctor: "You look exhausted."
Blond: "I am. When your nurse phoned me yesterday and told me that I have to come today for a blood test, I spent the whole night studying for it."
“I got a compliment on my driving today,” said a blond to her friend. There was a note left on my windshield it said “parking fine”.
A blond meets up with a friend as she's picking up her car from the mechanic.
"Everything ok with your car now?"
"Yes, thank goodness," the blond replies.
"Weren't you worried the mechanic might try to rip you off?"
"Yeah, but he didn't. I was so relieved when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid!"
A blonde was cruising down the highway at breakneck speed when a cop pulled her over.
“May I see your license and registration, please?” asked the cop.
Miffed, the blonde said, “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you took away my license and today you want me to show it to you!”
How many dumb blonde jokes are there? None they're all true stories.
What does a blonde do when her laptop computer freezes? She sticks it in the microwave!
“I got a compliment on my driving today,” said a blonde to her friend.
There was a note left on my windshield it said “parking fine”.
A blond calls her mom...
Blond: "Mom mom!! I'm a genius!"
Mother: "Really dear? How's that possible?"
Blond: "I finished a puzzle that I've been working on for 1 year and on the box it said 'for 2-5 yrs'."
Why did the blonde have square boobs? Because she forgot to take the tissues out of the boxes.
Two blonds were driving down the road.
The blond driving looks at her friend in the passenger seat and asks her to see if her blinker is working.
So the blond looks out the window and says, "Yes. No. Yes. No."
Two blondes fell down a hole.
One said, "It's dark in here isn't it?" The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see!"
A blond rings up an airline. She asks, "How long are your flights from America to England?" The woman on the other end of the phone says, "Just a minute..." The blond says, "Thanks!" and hangs up the phone.
Why was the blonde woman talking into an envelope? She was trying to send a voicemail!
A blond gets in her car and notices her steering wheel, dashboard, and windshield is missing.
She calls the police and reports a theft.
When the police officer comes, he looks at the blond who is crying and and says, "Ma'am...you're sitting in the backseat..."
Why was the blonde woman talking into an envelope? She was trying to send a voicemail!
Did you hear about the blonde who stayed up all night to see where the sun went? It finally dawned on her!
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back
A blond gets in her car and notices her steering wheel, dashboard, and windshield is missing.
She calls the police and reports a theft.
When the police officer comes, he looks at the blond who is crying and and says, "Ma'am...you're sitting in the backseat..."
What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde? Perri-air.
Why do blondes take the pill? So they know what day of the week it is.
What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear? A wind tunnel.
A blond pushes her BMW into the gas station and tells the mechanic that it died.
After working on it for a few minutes, he has it idling smoothly.
"What's the story?" she asked.
"Just crap in the carburetor," the mechanic replied.
"How often do I have to do that?" asked the blond.
Why blondes can't make Koolaid? Because they can't get 2 quarts of water in that small koolaid envelope.
This blonde was walking down a road carrying a bag, when a guy came along.
The guy asks, "What are you carrying?"
"Melons," the blonde replies.
"Cool," the guy says.
"If I can guess how many there are, can I have one of them?"
The blonde giggles and says, "If you can guess how many there are, you can have BOTH of them."
Did you hear about the blonde who gave her cat a bath? She still hasn't gotten all the hair off her tongue.
Why did the blond enter the tennis courts naked?
Because the sign said tennis shoes only.
What's the mating call of the blonde? "I'm sooooo drunk!"
“I got a compliment on my driving today,” said a blond to her friend.
There was a note left on my windshield it said “parking fine”.
On the first day of training for parachute jumping, a blonde listened intently to the instructor.
He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet.
The blonde asked, “How am I supposed to know when I’m at 300 feet?”
“That’s a good question. When you get to 300 feet, you'll be able to recognize the faces of people on the ground.”
After pondering his answer, she asked, “What happens if there’s no one there I know?”
Go to BabaMail
