A Blond walks into a doctors office and says: "Doctor, what’s the problem with me? When I touch my arm, ouch! It hurts... When I touch my leg, ouch! it hurts... When I touch my head, ouch! It hurts... When I touch my chest, ouch! it really hurts!" The Doctor replies: "Your finger is broken."
Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency? They can't remember the number.
A blonde was cruising down the highway at breakneck speed when a cop pulled her over.
“May I see your license and registration, please?” asked the cop.
Miffed, the blonde said, “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you took away my license and today you want me to show it to you!”
A blond gets in her car and notices her steering wheel, dashboard, and windshield is missing.
She calls the police and reports a theft.
When the police officer comes, he looks at the blond who is crying and and says, "Ma'am...you're sitting in the backseat..."
Why did the blond softball team always eat at Taco Bell before a game?
So they'd get more runs than the opponents.
Two blondes are walking down the road when one says "Look at that dog with one eye!"
The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says "Where?"
“I got a compliment on my driving today,” said a blonde to her friend.
There was a note left on my windshield it said “parking fine”.
A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Brazilian." The blonde replies, "Oh my God! You slut! How many is a brazilian?"
What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common? They're both empty from the neck up.
How many dumb blonde jokes are there? None they're all true stories.
How can you tell a blonde has used your computer? There is white out on the screen.
Why do blondes make bad bankrobbers? Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards
A blond rings up an airline.
She asks, "How long are your flights from America to England?"
The woman on the other end of the phone says, "Just a minute..."
The blond says, "Thanks!" and hangs up the phone.
“I got a compliment on my driving today,” said a blond to her friend.
There was a note left on my windshield it said “parking fine”.
One day a blond walks into a doctors office with both of her ears burnt.
The doctor asked her what had happened.
She says, "well... when I was ironing my work suit the phone rang and I picked up the iron instead of the phone by mistake.
"Well that explains one ear, but what about the other?"
"The bastard called again."
Did you hear about the blonde corn maze? It only had 1 stalk.
A redhead tells her blond stepsister, "I slept with a Brazilian." The blond replies, "Oh my God. You slut. How many is a brazilian?"
How do you drown a blonde? Tape a mirror to the bottom of a pool.
What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear? A wind tunnel.
What do you call a blonde with half a brain? Gifted!
Why did the blonde take a camera to bed? To record what she was going to dream that night.
What goes: vroooom-schreech, vrooom-schreech, vroooom-schreech? A blonde at a flashing red light
Why do blondes wear ponytails? To hide the valve stem!
Why did the Blonde go to Taco Bell? To pay her phone bill.
What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty? A blonde parade.
Why did the Blonde go to the Apple Store? She wanted a Big Mac meal.
How do you keep a blond busy for 2 days?
Give her a piece of paper that has "please turn over" written on both sides.
Why did the blond enter the tennis courts naked?
Because the sign said tennis shoes only.
How do you keep a blond busy for 2 days? Give her a piece of paper that has "please turn over" written on both sides.
Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License? Because she got an "F" in se*.
A blond gets in her car and notices her steering wheel, dashboard, and windshield is missing.
She calls the police and reports a theft.
When the police officer comes, he looks at the blond who is crying and and says, "Ma'am...you're sitting in the backseat..."
This blonde was walking down a road carrying a bag, when a guy came along.
The guy asks, "What are you carrying?"
"Melons," the blonde replies.
"Cool," the guy says.
"If I can guess how many there are, can I have one of them?"
The blonde giggles and says, "If you can guess how many there are, you can have BOTH of them."
Why can't the blonde write the number eleven? She didn't know which "1" came first!
What's the mating call of the blonde? "I'm sooooo drunk!"
Why blondes can't make Koolaid? Because they can't get 2 quarts of water in that small koolaid envelope.
How do you drown a submarine full of blonds?
You knock on the door.
Doctor: "You look exhausted."
Blond: "I am. When your nurse phoned me yesterday and told me that I have to come today for a blood test, I spent the whole night studying for it."
A blonde and a brunette were jumping off a building. Who jumped first? The brunette. The blonde had to ask for directions...
Why do blondes take the pill? So they know what day of the week it is.
A Blond walks into a doctors office and says:
"Doctor, what’s the problem with me?
When I touch my arm, ouch! It hurts...
When I touch my leg, ouch! it hurts...
When I touch my head, ouch! It hurts...
When I touch my chest, ouch! it really hurts!"
The Doctor replies: "Your finger is broken."
Why do blondes wear hooped ear rings. So they have somewhere to put their feet when having se*.