What does a blonde do when her laptop computer freezes? She sticks it in the microwave!
A blond calls her mom...
Blond: "Mom mom!! I'm a genius!"
Mother: "Really dear? How's that possible?"
Blond: "I finished a puzzle that I've been working on for 1 year and on the box it said 'for 2-5 yrs'."
How does a blonde kill a worm?
She buries it.
Did you hear about the blonde corn maze? It only had 1 stalk.
An blond loses his check book, so he goes to the bank 2 days later to report it.
Bank manager: I warned you to be careful with your check book, because anyone can forge your signature.
Man: "I'm not a fool. I already signed all the checks so there is no space to forge my signature!"
How do you drown a submarine full of blonds?
You knock on the door.
A blond rings up an airline.
She asks, "How long are your flights from America to England?"
The woman on the other end of the phone says, "Just a minute..."
The blond says, "Thanks!" and hangs up the phone.
How do you change a blonde's mind? A1: Blow in her ear. A2: Buy her another beer.
Two blonds were driving down the road.
The blond driving looks at her friend in the passenger seat and asks her to see if her blinker is working.
So the blond looks out the window and says, "Yes. No. Yes. No."
What do you call a blonde with half a brain? Gifted!
This blonde was walking down a road carrying a bag, when a guy came along.
The guy asks, "What are you carrying?"
"Melons," the blonde replies.
"Cool," the guy says.
"If I can guess how many there are, can I have one of them?"
The blonde giggles and says, "If you can guess how many there are, you can have BOTH of them."
Why can't the blonde write the number eleven? She didn't know which "1" came first!
Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency? They can't remember the number.
Why did the blonde take a ruler to bed? Because she wanted to measure how long he slept.
A blond calls her mom...
Blond: "Mom mom!! I'm a genius!"
Mother: "Really dear? How's that possible?"
Blond: "I finished a puzzle that I've been working on for 1 year and on the box it said 'for 2-5 yrs'."
What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home? She moved.
Why do blondes make bad bankrobbers? Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards
Why do blondes wear hooped ear rings. So they have somewhere to put their feet when having se*.
Why did the blond softball team always eat at Taco Bell before a game?
So they'd get more runs than the opponents.
A blond rings up an airline. She asks, "How long are your flights from America to England?" The woman on the other end of the phone says, "Just a minute..." The blond says, "Thanks!" and hangs up the phone.
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back
Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours? Because it said 'concentrate'.
Why was the blonde woman talking into an envelope? She was trying to send a voicemail!
How many blonde jokes are there?
One. The rest are all true stories.
Why blondes can't make Koolaid? Because they can't get 2 quarts of water in that small koolaid envelope.
How do you kill a blonde? Give her a gun and say it's a hair drier.
A boss tells a blonde applicant, "I'll give you $8 an hour, starting today, and in three months, I'll raise it to $10 an hour. So, when would you like to start?"
"Could I start In three months?"
A blond gets in her car and notices her steering wheel, dashboard, and windshield is missing.
She calls the police and reports a theft.
When the police officer comes, he looks at the blond who is crying and and says, "Ma'am...you're sitting in the backseat..."
What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear? "Thanks for the refill!"
Why can't the blonde write the number eleven? She didn't know which "1" came first!
Doctor: "You look exhausted."
Blond: "I am. When your nurse phoned me yesterday and told me that I have to come today for a blood test, I spent the whole night studying for it."
One day a blond walks into a doctors office with both of her ears burnt.
The doctor asked her what had happened.
She says, "well... when I was ironing my work suit the phone rang and I picked up the iron instead of the phone by mistake.
"Well that explains one ear, but what about the other?"
"The bastard called again."
What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? Run like hell, she has a grenade in her hand.
How do you confuse a blond?
Tell them to count the stairs on a escalator.
How did the blonde try to kill the bird? She threw it off a cliff.
A blonde was cruising down the highway at breakneck speed when a cop pulled her over.
“May I see your license and registration, please?” asked the cop.
Miffed, the blonde said, “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you took away my license and today you want me to show it to you!”
A blond gets in her car and notices her steering wheel, dashboard, and windshield is missing.
She calls the police and reports a theft.
When the police officer comes, he looks at the blond who is crying and and says, "Ma'am...you're sitting in the backseat..."
Two blondes fell down a hole.
One said, "It's dark in here isn't it?" The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see!"
A blond pushes her BMW into the gas station and tells the mechanic that it died.
After working on it for a few minutes, he has it idling smoothly.
"What's the story?" she asked.
"Just crap in the carburetor," the mechanic replied.
"How often do I have to do that?" asked the blond.
How many dumb blonde jokes are there? None they're all true stories.
One day a blond walks into a doctors office with both of her ears burnt.
The doctor asked her what had happened.
She says, "well... when I was ironing my work suit the phone rang and I picked up the iron instead of the phone by mistake.
"Well that explains one ear, but what about the other?"
"The bastard called again."
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