If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.
A whale swims all day, mainly eats fish and drinks water, but is still fat.
A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, while a tortoise doesn't run and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years.
And you tell me to exercise? I don't think so.
Just grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to remember the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
Now that I'm older here's what I've discovered:
• I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
• My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.
• I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.
• Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
• Some days, you're the top dog; some days you're the hydrant.
• It was a whole lot easier to get older, than to get wiser.
• If all is not lost, then where the heck is it?
• I wish the buck really did stop here; I sure could use a few of them.
• Kids in the back-seat cause accidents.
• Accidents in the back-seat cause kids.
• It's not hard to meet expenses - they're everywhere.
• The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
• These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter - I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm "here, after".
• Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
• HAVE I SENT THIS MESSAGE TO YOU BEFORE???
This Joke Starts With an Elderly Couple At a Travel Agency
Two elderly people are spotted by a travel agent at his agency's window. He promptly invites them in and discusses sending them on a dream vacation...
Joke: When the Evangelicals Are On TV
When grandma and grandpa are watching the evangelical preacher on the TV, they try to heal themselves of their ills by touching it. It doesn't go so well...
Joke: The Newlyweds and the Strict Priest...
These newlyweds were asked to do something difficult...
Joke: Wedding Decisions
A bride and a groom are with a pastor finalizing details for their wedding day. The pastor asks them whether they want a traditional or contemporary wedding...
Why Did the Dog Chase His Tail? Come Find Out!
Enjoy a most laughable collection of dog-themed riddles that are paw-sitive to make you smile!
Sometimes All You Need is One Line to Make You Laugh...
28 hilarious and short jokes! Read them all at once or come back and read one every day, no funny business
These Cats May Have Been Ninjas in a Past Life
Cats are talented when they put their mind to them, and this bunch seem to have developed some incredible skills!
Hilarious Improv: Dear Wife, I'm Writing You This Letter...
These two improv performers are only allowed to say one word at a time. Following a suggestion from the audience.
Funny: When 8 Priests Come Face-to-Face with Lingerie
This clip from a classic Irish comedy features 8 desperate priests embarrassingly trapped in the lingerie department. This will bring tears to your eyes.
Hilarious Language Humor: 18 Funny Translation Fails
These translation fails are just ridiculously funny.
HILARIOUS: The World’s Absolute Worst Bathroom Designs
Hilarious pictures of bad bathroom designs
My All-Time Favorite Broken-English Signs
English may be well-known but it's not always well-written. Here are some hilarious signs
Hand These Guys a Towel and Get Ready to Laugh!
This hilarious performance involves two young Frenchmen who have just a towel apiece to preserve their modesty. Watch this side-splitting performance.
This is One of the Funniest Videos I've Ever Seen! (Cheeky)
This hilarious short video is just laugh out loud funny.
You've Got to Check Out This Very Funny Animal Compilation
If you love cute animals and are up for a good laugh, then this is the perfect video for you!
Hilarious: We All Have That One Friend Who's Kinda Silly...
In every group of friends, we have this one friend who just keeps messing up. If your group doesn't have one, then it's probably you...
Do You Have the Same Problems With YOUR Kids?
Almost as soon as they learn how to speak, your kids learn to speak back. First it's "no", then it's "I don't wanna" and soon enough they're closing the door to their room and listening to their terrible music. Well, at least you can take comfort in
16 Parenthood Comics That’ll Make You Roll In the Aisles
These witty comics show the funny side of having a family and parenting
Caution! These Ridiculous Signs Will Make You Laugh!
Many caution signs can be redundant or plain weird. Here are 25 such caution signs that will have you either laughing or scratching you head
These Parents Have a Great Sense of Humor...
These parents have the best sense of humor about their daily struggles. So stay awhile and crack some smiles!
Funny Pics - The Most Outrageous Car Repair Jobs
These are the most outrageous car repair jobs you’ll ever see.
Hilarious! Men Can Handle Anything Impossible!
Hilarious photos illustrating how men are willing to do just about anything!
Hilarious! Meet the World's Strongest Teenage Girl
If you're looking for something to brighten up your day, then this brilliant prank from the Just For Laughs group is just what you need!
Hilarious: 16 Absolutely Laugh-Worthy Construction Blunders
These construction fails will make you question everything.
And the Award for the Worst Driver of the Year Goes To…
Car crashes aren’t supposed to be funny. So, why can’t we stop laughing at these ridiculous ones?
When Parking Signs Get a Sense of Humor! (15 Pics)
Who knew no parking signs could make us laugh too?
Funnies: The Differences Between Men and Women
These images will show you clearly why they say that women are from Venus and men are from Mars. Take a look at these amusing images for a good laugh.
Hilarious: The Marriage Dictionary!
Have you been through the marriage dictionary yet? I think you'll find that the definitions it contains are much different to the ones in a regular dictionary.
I Swear Officer, I Was Framed!
These people thought they were helping film a prank, but they didn't realize what will happen next...
Hilarious! Some Animals Cannot Pose Well in Photos
Here are some majestic and graceful animals, captured in less than fluttering moments.
HILARIOUS: 14 Cat Comics That'll Make You Laugh Out Loud!
This hilarious cat comics, drawn by Scott Metzger, perfectly capture the nature of cats.
Well, You Won't See THESE Every Day!
In this captivating collection of images, we delve into the extraordinary and the amusing.
Are These the Funniest Animal Photos Ever Captured?
If you love animals, then get ready to laugh your head off, since the annual Comedy Wildlife Awards are with us once again!
The Funny Side of Having Too Much Technology...
It's crazy to think about how most of us have become attached to our cellphones, but there's a funny side to the whole thing. Take a look at these memes.
Seniors Win: Teaching Some Drivers a Valuable Lesson!
You better learn some patience with dealing with these elders!
Hilarious: We Can All Identify With These Signs!
El Arroyo restaurant is back to make you laugh with its hilarious collection of new funny signs.
Classic Comedy: the Dirty Hungarian Phrasebook!
Monty Python in a hilarious sketch about miscommunication and relying on phrasebooks
14 Grocery Store Signs to Make Your Shopping Funnier!
Chuckle with this super collection of some of the wittiest and funniest signs found inside supermarkets.
These Work Safety Fails Will Make Your Hair Stand on End!
The work safety fails you’ll see in this article are not for the faint of heart. But don’t worry, no careless worker was harmed in the making of these photos!
18 Advertising Fails That Are Too Funny To Ignore!
These hilariously bad ads may not convince you to buy the product, but they will surely succeed at cracking you up!
HILARIOUS: Are These People Fools or Geniuses?
Some people have a really creative way of fixing a problem, and I do mean REALLY creative...
Hilarious: These Dogs Never Saw it Coming...
When these dogs get pranked, they can't believe it!
20 Hilarious Road Signs You'll Only Ever See in Australia
The land down under has a language of its own as you can see by these signs that are equal parts strange and hysterical