If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.
A whale swims all day, mainly eats fish and drinks water, but is still fat.
A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, while a tortoise doesn't run and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years.
And you tell me to exercise? I don't think so.
Just grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to remember the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
Now that I'm older here's what I've discovered:
• I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
• My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.
• I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.
• Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
• Some days, you're the top dog; some days you're the hydrant.
• It was a whole lot easier to get older, than to get wiser.
• If all is not lost, then where the heck is it?
• I wish the buck really did stop here; I sure could use a few of them.
• Kids in the back-seat cause accidents.
• Accidents in the back-seat cause kids.
• It's not hard to meet expenses - they're everywhere.
• The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
• These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter - I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm "here, after".
• Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
• HAVE I SENT THIS MESSAGE TO YOU BEFORE???
Joke: When the Evangelicals Are On TV
When grandma and grandpa are watching the evangelical preacher on the TV, they try to heal themselves of their ills by touching it. It doesn't go so well...
Hilarious: What is a Bird Looking For on a Rugby Field?
In this video, we're cracking jokes about disappearing balls, strange outfits, and dancing players.
Joke: Lights Go Out, Naughty Comes Out...
Four people are in a train compartment together when everything goes dark. An opportunistic poor man decides to capitalize on the opportunity...
Why Did the Dog Chase His Tail? Come Find Out!
Enjoy a most laughable collection of dog-themed riddles that are paw-sitive to make you smile!
These Hilarious Grammar Jokes are a Verbal Delight!
Do you enjoy a good pun? Somehow, they become even funnier when they're related to grammar. Here are 17 hilarious grammar jokes for you to enjoy.
12 Naughty Dogs Caught Being Cheeky While You Were Out
So this is what your dog is doing when he has the house to himself!
Hilarious: This Vet Clinic Has Painfully Funny Signs!
Enjoy 21 hilarious signs brought to you by the most unexpected source - a vet clinic.
Sea Lions Aren’t as Cute and Clumsy as They May Seem
The incredible hunting skills and abilities of the sea lion
And the Award for the Worst Driver of the Year Goes To…
Car crashes aren’t supposed to be funny. So, why can’t we stop laughing at these ridiculous ones?
Mr. Bean Never Expected a Round of Golf Like That...
Mr Bean decides to treat himself to a round of crazy golf. He starts off with a fantastic hole in one, but things start to take a turn for the worse…
Have You Ever Read a Sign Or Notice and Thought... WHAT!?
Sometimes you see a sign or notice and you just have to do a double take. These 18 utterly hilarious spelling fails will have you laughing all day long!
Hilarious: This is Why They Call Them "The Golden Years"!
Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional. Here are 37 funny pictures of seniors who decided to enjoy life to the fullest and not let concepts like “polite” and “decent” stop them!
Hilarious: The Real Dogs Behind the "Beware Dog" Signs
Here are 12 hilarious “Beware of the Dog” signs and the cuties behind those signs.
These Uproarious Cartoons Make Age a Hilarious Affair...
These comics show that the best way to deal with aging is to have good old laugh it!
These Cartoons Prove That with Great Age Comes Great Humor
Laughter is the best way to deal with all the negatives that comes with old age. Therefore, we have compiled 11 funny senior cartoons for your amusement.
Funny: Best of Paranormal Pranks!
Get prepared to meet vampires, monsters and scary things as you laugh out loud!
How Much Sleep Do We Need at Different Ages?
How much sleep do we need at 15? Is it the same at 35 or 60? No, and that is exactly what we would like to teach you about
Classic Comedy: The Marx Brothers' Famous Mirror Scene
One of the most famous and adored comedy routines of all time performed by the talented Marx Brothers!
You Wouldn't Believe These Things Happen at Hotels
These hotel fails are the funniest things you will see all day.
20 Hilarious Road Signs You'll Only Ever See in Australia
The land down under has a language of its own as you can see by these signs that are equal parts strange and hysterical
Hilarious: When Timing and Comedy Team Up!
Comedy is all about timing and these photos are the perfect example for it!
Add Humor to Your Bathroom With These Crazy Curtains
Add a touch of humor to your bathroom with these crazy shower curtains.
Your Smile Video of the Day
Watch this fluffy owl as it apparently pets a no less fluffy dog in friendship, once again proving to us that many kinds of animals can show affection, not even just mammals.
Hilarious: The Truth About Vincent Van Gogh's Family...
Like most people, I'm very familiar with Vincent van Gogh's incredibly artistry, but I never realized how large his extended family was until I saw this post.
It's Not Fun Being Old, But Sometimes It's Funny...
Let me make your day with these photos that made almost made me spill my coffee this morning.
When Teaching First Aid, Try to Avoid Having Mr. Bean There
A classic Mr. Bean sketch that always makes me laugh, is Mr. Bean's idea of first aid...
These Seniors Live Life According to Their Own Rules...
These funny photos prove that as you get older, you stop caring about what other people think of you.
This Unforgettable & Hilarious Performance is One-of-a-Kind!
You don't see such effortless grace in comedy as with these two love birds anymore.
HILARIOUS: These Pets are Real Drama Queens!
Just like humans, some pets throw tantrums when they want attention. Just look at these 12 hilarious four-legged drama queens.
These Cats May Have Been Ninjas in a Past Life
Cats are talented when they put their mind to them, and this bunch seem to have developed some incredible skills!
Hey Dogs, Are You Gonna Take That From a CAT?
A side-splitting video compilation of mischievous felines, monopolizing the dog bed.
Only Mr. Bean Can Make a Picnic Hilarious
Mr. Bean decides to have a picnic. However, he soon realizes that there are some insects who will do their utmost to prevent him from enjoying himself...
Eek! Remember When Chaplin Got Trapped in the Lion's Cage?
This classic scene has me rolling around the floor every time...
Whoever Created These Funny Signs Deserves a Pay Raise!
These hilarious business signs will definitely tickle your funny bone.
Vandalism Is Not Okay. Unless It Makes You Laugh Out Loud
Vandalism is WRONG. Unless it makes you laugh out loud. Then it’s okay.
When This Young Comedian Steps on Stage, No One is Safe!
Ned Woodman, a 9-year-old comedian, may look cute, but when he steps on to the stage, all this changes. Check him out here!
Hilarious: Why You DON'T Send a Man to the Grocery Store
Sending a man grocery shopping - what could possibly go wrong?
Some Things Could Only Have Been Invented in Japan
You can always rely on the Japanese to come up with some quirky inventions...
These Vintage Cartoons Will Make You Scream With Laughter!
If you're looking for a good laugh, then these snarky vintage illustrations by artist Anne Taitor have certainly got your covered!
Hilariously Funny DIY Fixes (16 Pics)
These hilarious pictures show some of the most unique DIY botch-jobs.
Hilarious: When a Ventriloquist Gets Hypnotized...
Watch this ventriloquist as she does a creative and funny routine I've never seen another ventriloquist do anything like this before!
Kidding in the Rain: A Collection of Rainy-Day Pranks!
A hilarious collection of pranks by just for laughs focusing on rainy days.
These Architects Should Really Rethink Their Career Choice
Somebody messed up big time. You’ll laugh your head off seeing how wrong construction can go with these hilarious photos.
You're Busted! Hilarious 'Crime' Gags
This compilation is so funny it should be illegal! ).