What do ducks watch on TV?
Duck-umentaries.
What Do You Call A Cat That Swallows A Duck?
A duck-filled-fatty-pus
What says “Quick, Quick”?
A duck with the hiccups
Why are ducks bad drivers?
Their windshields are qwacked.
What Do Ducks Have With Soup?
Quackers
What did the duck eat for snack?
Salted Quackers.
Where did the duck go when he was sick? A:
To the ducktor.
How Do Ducks Talk?
They don't, you quack.
What do ducks get after they eat?
A bill.
Which side of a duck has the most feathers?
The outside.
At What Time Does A Duck Wake Up?
At the quack of dawn.
Why did the duck cross the road?
Because there was a quack in the sidewalk.
What do you call a duck with fangs?
Count Duckula.
Why did the duck cross the road?
He was tied to the chicken.
What Do You Call A Duck That Steals?
A robber ducky.
What Do You Call A Clever Duck?
A wise quacker
What did the drug diller say to the duck?
Are you on quack?
What did a duck say to the comedian?
You quack me up.
What do get if you cross a duck and Santa?
A Christmas Quacker.
What happens when a duck flies upside down?
It quacks up
Why does a duck say quack?
Because it can’t say moo.
What do you get when a duck bends over?
It’s Buttquack
What Do You Call Two Ducks And A Cow?
Quakers and milk.
Did You Hear About The Duck With A Drug Problem?
He was a quackhead.
What did the duck who learned physics say?
Quark, quark.
What Did The Duck Say When The Waitress Came?
Put it on my bill!
Why Was The Teacher Annoyed With The Duck?
Because he wouldn't quit quackin' jokes!
What do you call a bird that can fix anything?
Duck Tape.
What did the duck say when the waitress came?
Put it on my bill.
What did Detective Duck say to his partner?
“Let’s quack this case.”
What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
"Put it on my bill."
Why did the duck go to the bank?
Because he wanted to get a new bill.