What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? The turKEY.
Should you have that annoying distant auntie for Thanksgiving dinner?
It’s really not worth it. Just have the turkey.
What happens when you’re too harsh on the cranberries and make them sad?
They turn into blueberries.
“Last Thanksgiving I shot my own turkey. It was fun. That shot gun going, "Blam! Blam!"
Everybody at the supermarket just staring. Why track them when I know where they are?”
Kenny Rogerson
I had to do something about my addiction to Thanksgiving leftovers.
Cold turkey was the only way to do it.
Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play.
What happened to the Pilgrim who was shot at by an Indian? He had an arrow escape.
What’s the link between turkeys and teddies?
Stuffing. Lots of stuffing.
What usually comes at the end of Thanksgiving?
Traditionally, the letter G.
What’s the easiest way to catch a turkey?
Ask a friend to toss one at you.
What do you call the day in November when your son and all his cousins get rowdy? Spanksgiving.
What happened when the turkey got into a fight?
He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Tamara.
Tamara who?
Tamara the feeding frenzy starts all over again, yay!
What do you get when you cross an octopus with a turkey?
Finally enough drumsticks for everybody at Thanksgiving. Provided you can catch the darned critter.
What did baby corn say to mama corn?
"Where's popcorn?"
What happens when you seriously overstuff yourself with turkey at Thanksgiving?
You have a few slices of pumpkin pie.
Who doesn't eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey - because it is always stuffed!
How many chefs does it take to stuff a Thanksgiving turkey?
Only one and even then it’s a pretty tight squeeze!
What would mothers most like to make on Thanksgiving dinner?
Good restaurant reservations.
What is the best Thanksgiving cookie?
One baked with May-flour.
Why do the pants of pilgrims keep falling down? Because their belt buckles are on their hats!
Over the long journey and having overcome many hardships together, the Pilgrims’ bonds strengthened and they all became pretty good Palgrims.
(we'll show ourselves out)
In what country is Thanksgiving, ironically, not celebrated? Turkey.
If you call a large turkey a gobbler what do you call a small one? Goblet.
Why do turkeys always go, "gobble, gobble"? Because they never learned good table manners.
What happened the first time one of the settlers tried to write favor instead of favour?
He was attacked by a Pil-grammar nazi.
What kind of face does a pilgrim make when he's in pain? Pil-grimace.
If the pilgrims came on the Mayflower than what does the teacher come on? The scholar ships.
What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day? God save the kin.
What do you call the age of a pilgrim? Pilgrimage.
What did the turkey say before he was roasted?
“OK, spare me no insults!"
What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot.
When do you serve vegan vitarian matcha-tea-flavored turkey-shaped tofu-loaf?
At Pranksgiving.
Question: What is a turkey’s favorite dessert?
Answer: Peach gobbler!
What does a English turkey say to another English turkey on Thanksgiving morning?
"To be roasted or not to be roasted, that is the question."
Why did the policeman stop you on your way home last Thanksgiving?
Because you far exceeded your feed limit.
.
What’s black, white and red?
A Pilgrim blushing because he’d seen the turkey dressing.
What did the turkey say to the computer? "Google, google, google!"
What is a good name for post-Thanksgiving constipation?
Turkey in suspense.
What do turkeys and women have in common?
A lot of guys are only interested in their breasts.
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