The native Indians were laughing at the Pilgrims for being so pale and never getting a proper tan.
But they did get a tan. A puritan.
What’s black, white and red?
A Pilgrim blushing because he’d seen the turkey dressing.
What does a disappointed mama turkey tell her kids?
If your father were to see you now, he would be turning over in his gravy!
What do jazzy people put on their potatoes at Thanksgiving?
Groovy.
What did the turkey say to the computer? "Google, google, google!"
Question: What is a turkey’s favorite dessert?
Answer: Peach gobbler!
Should you have that annoying distant auntie for Thanksgiving dinner?
It’s really not worth it. Just have the turkey.
Why did the turkey cross the road before Thanksgiving?
He was trying to give people the impression that he was a chicken.
What would mothers most like to make on Thanksgiving dinner?
Good restaurant reservations.
What smells the best at dinner on Thanksgiving?
The family dog’s nose.
What is a good name for post-Thanksgiving constipation?
Turkey in suspense.
What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot.
If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for? Their AGE!
Who doesn't eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey - because it is always stuffed!
Over the long journey and having overcome many hardships together, the Pilgrims’ bonds strengthened and they all became pretty good Palgrims.
(we'll show ourselves out)
What happens when you’re too harsh on the cranberries and make them sad?
They turn into blueberries.
What do you call an evil turkey? Poultry-Geist.
What do you get when you crossbreed a turkey with a harp?
A bird who can pluck itself.
What two animals get stuffed on Thanksgiving? Turkeys and people after Thanksgiving dinner.
Why did the policeman stop you on your way home last Thanksgiving?
Because you far exceeded your feed limit.
.
What happened to the Pilgrim who was shot at by an Indian? He had an arrow escape.
What does a English turkey say to another English turkey on Thanksgiving morning?
"To be roasted or not to be roasted, that is the question."
Why do turkeys always go, "gobble, gobble"? Because they never learned good table manners.
What does Dracula call Thanksgiving? Fangs-giving.
What did baby corn say to mama corn?
"Where's popcorn?"
Question: Why did the cranberries turn red?
Answer: Because they saw the turkey dressing!
In what country is Thanksgiving, ironically, not celebrated? Turkey.
If you call a large turkey a gobbler what do you call a small one? Goblet.
Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? The outside.
Why didn’t the turkey bake properly on Thanksgiving?
I’ve no idea but I suspect some fowl play.
What do you call the day in November when your son and all his cousins get rowdy? Spanksgiving.
What usually comes at the end of Thanksgiving?
Traditionally, the letter G.
If the pilgrims came on the Mayflower than what does the teacher come on? The scholar ships.
What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? The turKEY.
What do you call a turkey whizzing through the air past your head because the oven exploded?
Fast food.
What key can’t open doors no matter how hard you try?
Turkey.
Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play.
How many chefs does it take to stuff a Thanksgiving turkey?
Only one and even then it’s a pretty tight squeeze!
What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day? God save the kin.
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Tamara.
Tamara who?
Tamara the feeding frenzy starts all over again, yay!
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