Weekend Jokes

With the nice warm weather last weekend, a neighbor was enthusiastically diggin' in the dirt planting his garden!
He was so excited about it, he wet his plants.
Had a great weekend. Won the annual weather forecaster's championships!
I beat the raining champion.
Here's to a big opening weekend.
Since it's Mothers Day weekend, I decided to make sure my wife woke up with a BIG SMILE on her face this morning...
Now I can't have Sharpies in the house anymore.
The knight fell very sick over the weekend. He had a running temperature and was feeling very nauseous. The doctor called it the Saturday Knight Fever.
This weekend, I will watch a new Irish movie based on a marathon runner who only ate potatoes. It is called Starch Trek.
Afraid he wouldn’t get into college the skeleton spent the weekend boning up on algebra.
Q. Where do lady gorillas go for a wild weekend night out?
A. Chimpendale's.
Ariel spent the weekend alone because she was feeling a little crabby.
Knock Knock!

Who is there?


Water who?

Water your plans for the weekend, Mr Beaver?
Hey im having a BBQ on the weekend.
*I'll bring the sausage you bring the sizzle.*
What is a flamingo's favorite thing to do at the weekend? Play fla-bingo.
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?
I went to a dad-joke competition at Medieval Times last weekend..
They called it the Game of Groans.
Why was the gardener so busy over the weekend?
He had a long honeydew list.
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