System

What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
Firefighter Lovemaking Rules
Firefighter Lovemaking Rules A firefighter came home from work one day and told his wife, "You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station: Bell 1 rings and we all put on our jackets, Bell 2 rings and we all slide down the pole, Bell 3 rings and we're on the fire truck ready to go. From now on when I say Bell 1, I want you to strip naked. When say Bell 2, I want you to jump in bed. And when I say Bell 3, we are going to make love all night." His wife thought it was a bit strange but also kinda kinky, so she agreed. The next night he came home from work and yelled, "Bell 1!" The wife promptly took all her clothes off. When he yelled "Bell 2!", the wife jumped into bed. When he yelled "Bell 3!", they began making love. After a few minutes the wife yelled "Bell 4!" "What the hell is Bell 4?" asked the husband. The wife said, "Roll out more hose. You're nowhere near the fire."
I heard they sent a beer into space, destined to leave the solar system. They called it Interstella Artois.
A system administrator has 2 problems:
1. Dumb users
2. Smart users
Not sure what my creatinine clearance is, but I just can't get you out of my system.
A cued peach visual communication system is used with people suffering from peach and hearing impairment.
I wish they’d change the scoring system, but tennis is set in its ways and doesn’t see the point.
I prefer the new system to reviewing line calls. When Hawk-eye came around, I breathed a big Cy-clops of relief.
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Also Did you utilize Canada's public healthcare system to help ease that pain?
How can you make a computer system cry? Delete his cookies.
They say that the cardio system is the work of artery, but it is really just vein.
Why wouldn’t the papa bear use a navigation system in his truck?
Because he never lost his bearings.
An error has occurred, please try again!
Oh sorry but my system can't process something beautiful like you.
Mind if my comet enters your solar system?
How about you and I form a binary system?
Every time i see you, my cardiovascular system gets all worked up.
Murphy's Laws of Computing
Murphy's Laws of Computing Murphy's Laws of Computing: 1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen. 2. When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it's probably obsolete. 3. The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you least expect to find it. 4. When the going gets tough, upgrade. 5. For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction. 6. To err is human.. to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, it is downright natural. 7. He who laughs last probably made a back-up. 8. If at first you do not succeed, blame your computer. 9. A complex system that does not work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine. 10. The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions. 11. A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want to do.
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