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Sit

What does a turtle do during winter? Sit by the fire and worm himself up.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
Where does a 500-pound penguin sit?
Anywhere it wants.
What do skiers get if they sit in the snow for too long?
Polaroids!
Where does a 2,000 pound gorilla sit?
Anywhere it wants to.
Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk? To hatchet.
Three guys sit in a bar complaining about their wives.
The first guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she carries an automatic garage door opener in her car and she doesn't have a garage door."
The second guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she listens to an iPod and she doesn't have any earphones."
The third guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she carries a purse full of condoms and she doesn't even have a d**k."
What's the best way to force a male to do sit ups? Put the remote control between his toes.
Why do squirrels like to sit on telephone poles?
To stay away from the nuts on the ground.
You know you’re getting old when…
You sit in a rocking chair and can’t get it going.
Why do pumpkins sit on people’s porches?
They have no hands to knock on the door.
A Child With Chocolate
A Child With Chocolate A 7-year-old is sitting on a park bench eating a chocolate bar. The man sitting next to him looks over and says, "Eating that many chocolate bars is bad for you." The boy looks over and responds, "My great grandfather lived to be one hundred and five". The man replies, "And he ate that much chocolate?" "No" says the boy, "he minded his own bloody business."
"My name is Khan, please sit and entertain me."
Maternity ward nurse asked my wife if she needed to go to the bathroom.
She says, "yeah, I could stand to pee."

I said, "No, you should probably still sit so it doesn't get everywhere."
Man: Why don't you sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?
Woman: No thanks, I don't like small talk.
“If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.”
Theodore Roosevelt