Pull Jokes

In case of an emergency, pull down the zipper on my pants.
Growth takes time. Be patient. And while you’re waiting, pull a weed.
— Emilie Barnes
“Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it." ~ David Lee Roth
"First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down." - Leo Rosenberg
I'm always really disappointed when I pull up to a yard sale...
And they aren't willing to sell me any of their yards.
The Dentist and the Viagra The other day, a gentleman went to the Dentist's office to have a tooth pulled. The Dentist pulls out a freezing needle to give him a shot. "No way! No needles! I hate needles", the man said. The Dentist starts to hook up the laughing gas and the man immediately objected. "I can't do the gas thing either; the thought of having the gas mask on is suffocating me!" The Dentist then asks the gentleman if he has any objection to taking a pill. "No objection", the man said. "I'm fine with pills". The Dentist then returns and says, "Here's a Viagra tablet". The gentleman, totally at a loss for words, said in amazement, "WOW, I didn't know Viagra worked as a pain killer!" "It doesn't", said the Dentist, "but it will give you something to hold on to when I pull your tooth."
Oh I didn't mean to pull you in so close. I thought I heard a rutting bull moose.
“Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it." ~ David Lee Roth
“Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.” —Jeff Valdez
Is your name Rapunzel, cause I need a girl who never leaves the bedroom and constantly wants me to pull her hair?
When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
Your smile must be a black hole. Nothing can escape its pull.
I’m like planet Neptune. I’m attracted to the gravitational pull from Uranus since it is so big, and I cannot lie.
Is it a full moon? Because I feel a tidal pull toward your heavenly body.
Do you also feel the strong gravitational pull of my bed?
Today is your birthday, don’t pull your hair,
Look in the mirror, nature was fair,
Not a day over twenty,
I’m kidding, you’re plenty.

Don’t mean to burst your bubble,
But stop asking for trouble,
You know what I mean,
When you drink that caffeine.

What should I bring?
Just give me a ring.
Elephant or clown?
I knew you would frown.

(Martin Dejnicki)
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