Pull

A physics student ask his teacher: "Can you point me to someone who can teach me a way in which quantum mechanics can be united with general relativity?"
The teacher answers: "Let me see if I can pull some strings for you."
As my wife was giving birth, all the doctors and nurses started yelling, “Push! Push!”
I was convinced it was a Pull door.
Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains
Doctor: Pull yourself together
What vegetable did King Arthur pull from the stone?
Exparagus.
You have to be careful these days. I was walking down this creek yesterday and this guy suddenly pulled out a scissor, but luckily I was agile enough to reach into my pocket and pull out a rock because if I had pulled out paper, man I would’ve lost.
If you pull the pin out of a grenade, is it possible to put it back in it so it won't explode?
I kinda need a quick response...
What do you call writing a book about breeding bats to pull carriages? A wheely bat idea.
Why are snakes hard to fool?
They have no legs to pull.
Once I did hear my brother call
The sun a giant fire ball.
How can that be?
For what I see,
Is something up high so small.

I see it at the break of dawn,
When it announces the day is on.
Its brilliant gold,
A joy to behold,
And being outside is so much fun.

John might be right, for I must say,
The sun is not so cool at midday.
Its shining light
Is just so bright,
I have to pull my eyes away.

Evening comes and it's so strange
How the sun still appears to change.
No longer small,
A bigger ball.
Its tone, now a lovely bright orange!

This curious ball hanging up high,
For me, raises many questions why.
But when it shines,
Then life is fine.
Thank God the sun is in the sky.

(By Abimbola T. Alabi)
Why are men like cars? Because they always pull out before they check to see if anyone else is cumming.
When does 1 + 1 = 3?
When you don't pull out.
The truth was that Rapunzel didn’t want a prince to save her
She was just kinky and wanted someone to pull her hair.
How do you keep a French person from crashing your party? Put a sign up that says "no nudity" How do you get tickets to the Tampon 100? Pull some strings.
On his deathbed, my granddad said to me, "Remember these two words. They'll open a lot of doors for you in life."
"Push and pull."
What did the judge say to the dentist? Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth.