Handle Jokes

If an elf can’t do something right now, how do they handle it?
Shelf it for later.
Why did the orange turn into orange juice?
It couldn’t handle the pressure.
What side of the mug is the handle on?
The outside.
Ay caramba! You're hotter than a jalapeño. I better wear a glove when I handle you!
Some marine biologists argued about how best to handle angry dolphins.
The were working at cross porpoises.
You will never see a vampire betting on the horses. They can't handle the stakes.
What did the angry witch do after sitting on her broomstick?
She flew off the handle.
I tried smoking pot once.
I choked on the handle.
Why did the orange become juice?
It couldn't handle the pressure.
Why did the zombie bite off the comedian's hands?
His jokes were too funny to handle.
Why was the cabinet maker fired on his first day?
He just couldn't get a handle on it.
Last night while cooking, my serving spoon's handle broke off. My husband walked in and said:
How very un-ladle-like!
“God made up best friends because he knew our mom couldn’t handle us as sisters.”
— Unknown
Glad I brought out the oven mitts, because you’re too hot to handle.
"Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple and learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a dozen."

- John Steinbeck.
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