Monster Jokes

How did Dr. Frankenstein pay the men who built his monster?
On a piece rate.
What monster plays the most April Fool’s jokes?
What tree monster prowls the forest?
What happened when the ice monster had a furious row with Frankenstein?
He gave him the cold shoulder!
Frankenstein's monster and the bride of Frankenstein sit down for dinner
Bride: How come you never help with the dinner
Frankenstein: I did
Bride: How?
Frankenstein: I did the mash...
Bride: Don't you dare
Why was Frankenstein’s monster always being arrested?
He was so easy to charge.
What happened when Frankenstein’s monster first met his girlfriend?
It was love at first fright.
Why is Frankenstein’s monster so popular?
He’s a real people person.
Who will Frankenstein’s monster take to the dance?
Any old girl he can dig up.
What do you call it when a monster gets mad?
A monster terrorized a village.
He kept doing it ogre and ogre again...
My wife threatened to leave me if I didn't stop making monster puns.
So I guess our relationship might as well be ogre.
Psychiatrist vs. Bartender A man sitting at a bar after work shares with the bartender why he is looking so stressed, “I’m not sleeping well. I have nightmares about a monster under my bed and I am too embarrassed to seek help.” A patron nearby overhears this and introduces himself, “I overheard your story and I am a psychiatrist. Maybe I can help. The first thing is you recognize these are only dreams, and that is obvious so I should be able to help you in a few sessions. Here’s my card, give me a call.” A few weeks pass and the same two are once again at the bar after work. The psychiatrist says to the other guy, “Hi, how goes the nightmares? I never heard from you so I hope you are doing okay.” The other guy says, “things are great, the bartender helped me.” Psychiatrist, “the bartender helped you? You needed a trained professional to help you, what possibly could a bartender do that a psychiatrist couldn’t?” The other guy says, “he told me to saw the legs off my bed.”
What does a monster wear when it rains?
His ghoul-oshes!
Which monster did the three bears catch sleeping?
How did the monster predict his future?
With the horror-scope!
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