Trained Jokes

Why didn't the conductor know what to do when he found that his train was missing?
He wasn't trained for this.
I used to be a railroad conductor, but my boss found out I wasnโ€™t trained.
Why canโ€™t Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle?
Because he hasn't been trained as an artist.
Psychiatrist vs. Bartender A man sitting at a bar after work shares with the bartender why he is looking so stressed, โ€œIโ€™m not sleeping well. I have nightmares about a monster under my bed and I am too embarrassed to seek help.โ€ A patron nearby overhears this and introduces himself, โ€œI overheard your story and I am a psychiatrist. Maybe I can help. The first thing is you recognize these are only dreams, and that is obvious so I should be able to help you in a few sessions. Hereโ€™s my card, give me a call.โ€ A few weeks pass and the same two are once again at the bar after work. The psychiatrist says to the other guy, โ€œHi, how goes the nightmares? I never heard from you so I hope you are doing okay.โ€ The other guy says, โ€œthings are great, the bartender helped me.โ€ Psychiatrist, โ€œthe bartender helped you? You needed a trained professional to help you, what possibly could a bartender do that a psychiatrist couldnโ€™t?โ€ The other guy says, โ€œhe told me to saw the legs off my bed.โ€
Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
โ€œProperly trained, a man can be dogโ€™s best friend.โ€

- Corey Ford.
If youโ€™re looking for a job, get trained in horticulture. Itโ€™s a growing industry.
Roman soldiers are trained.
But Vikings are Bjorn.
A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.
Iโ€™m going to see their production of swine lake.
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