Fired

Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter?
He was shredding the floor.
The young loaf of bread ended up getting fired from his job because he kept loafing around. Poor guy.
They fired the loaf of bread from her job. They say that she kept breaking down and would rye on the job.
I recently got a new job as a golf caddy, but I was fired after less than an hour.
The guy asked me for a sand wedge. I don't think he likes pickle.
Why did the bowlegged cowboy get fired?
Because he couldn't keep his calves together!
McDonald’s fired CEO Steve Easterbrook has already got a new job at Old McDonalds farm.
He's their CIEIO.
I was recently fired from my job operating rides at the carnival
My lawyer has advised suing for funfair dismissal.
I got fired from Starbucks for not changing the coffee filters.
It was grounds for dismissal.
I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
Why was the coffee-shop worker fired? He kept showing up in a Tea-shirt.
I got fired for eating chips at work.
Well I really hated my job at the casino anyways.
I got fired from my job as a taxi driver.
It turns out my customers didn't like it when I tried to go the extra mile.
Why did the koala get fired from his job?
Because he would only do the bear minimum.
Yo Momma so stupid she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the Ws.
The Angry CEO
The Angry CEO General Motors, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning on a wall. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business. He walked up to the guy leaning against the wall and asked, "How much money do you make a week?" A little surprised, the young man looked at him and replied, "I make $400 a week. Why?" The CEO then hands the guy $1,600 in cash and screams, "Here's four weeks' pay, now GET OUT and don't come back!" Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looked around the room and asked, "Does anyone want to tell me what that bloody slacker did here?" From across the room came a voice: "That was the pizza delivery guy from Domino's."