Fired

I got fired on my first day as a car salesman.
Customer: "Cargo space?"
Me (speaking slowly): "No, not space.. Car go ROAD."
Manager: " Can I see you in my office?"
“Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.”
George Carlin
A fired newspaper editor took an ex-press train out of town.
Why did the blonde volleyball player end up getting fired from her waitressing job? Someone said she needed to serve the food.
The Angry CEO
The Angry CEO General Motors, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning on a wall. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business. He walked up to the guy leaning against the wall and asked, "How much money do you make a week?" A little surprised, the young man looked at him and replied, "I make $400 a week. Why?" The CEO then hands the guy $1,600 in cash and screams, "Here's four weeks' pay, now GET OUT and don't come back!" Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looked around the room and asked, "Does anyone want to tell me what that bloody slacker did here?" From across the room came a voice: "That was the pizza delivery guy from Domino's."
Why was the coffee-shop worker fired? He kept showing up in a Tea-shirt.
I got fired from the bomb disposal squad
Too bad, I had a blast working there.
A sad bullet comes home to his family.
"Honey you look terrible!" Exclaims his wife. "What happened?"
"I got fired."
Why did the bowlegged cowboy get fired?
Because he couldn't keep his calves together!
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks “why the long face?”.
The horse replies “My wife is leaving me and I just got fired."
She got fired from the hot dog stand for putting her hair in a bun.
Did you hear about the crow who worked at a call Center?
He was fired for Just Caws.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job? He would only do the BEAR minimum.
A restaurant server was fired on his first day of work for taking a woman’s salad.
He thought the manager said “seize her salad”.
Why was the potato fired from his job at the football stadium?
He was a horrible commentater.