On the first day of training for parachute jumping, a blonde listened intently to the instructor.
He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet.
The blonde asked, “How am I supposed to know when I’m at 300 feet?”
“That’s a good question. When you get to 300 feet, you'll be able to recognize the faces of people on the ground.”
After pondering his answer, she asked, “What happens if there’s no one there I know?”
A blond was taking helicopter lessons.
The instructor said, "I'll radio you every 1000 feet to see how you're doing."
At 1000 feet, the instructor radioed her and said she was doing great.
At 2000 feet, he said she was still doing well.
Right before she got to 3000 feet, the propeller stopped, and she twirled to the ground.
The instructor ran to where she crash landed and pulled her out of the helicopter. "What went wrong?"
The blond said, "At 2500 feet, I started to get cold, so I turned the big fan off."
A biologist, a chemist, and a statistician are out hunting. The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5 feet to the left. The chemist takes a shot and misses 5 feet to the right. The statistician yells, "We got 'em!"
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her of her feet.
Yo Mama so short her head smells like feet.
Yo Mama so short you can see her feet on her driver's license.
There once was a fly on the wall,
I wonder why didn't it fall.
Because its feet stuck,
Or was it just luck,
Or does gravity miss things so small?
There was an Old Person of Spain,
Who hated all trouble and pain;
So he sat on a chair,
With his feet in the air,
That umbrageous Old Person of Spain.
Whats thirty feet long and smells like urine? Line dancing at a nusing home. What do you call Iron Man without his suit? Stark naked.
What do you call a girl with no feet? Peggy
If you had a donkey and I had a chicken and if your donkey ate my chicken what will you have? Three feet of my co*k up your a*s.
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.
Your house is so dirty you have to wipe your feet before you go outside.
An Over Exaggeration
An Over Exaggeration When the american said: "Did you know that our air force is so big, that when all our planes are out flying. We can't even see the sun!" "That's nothing!" scoffed the Englishman. "Our Navy is so huge, that if we line up all our boats we can walk on a straight line all the way from England to America without getting wet feet. After a short while the African said: "One day when I was taking a piss in the forest, 14 crows landed on my penis... At the same time." That was when they all realized that maybe, just maybe... They all over exaggerated . The American admitted: "Well, maybe we do see the sun shining through...". And Englishman answered: "And we actually have to swim a bit to reach the american shoreline..." And the African said: "And those 14 crows... Well, they were sitting pretty close together."
Why does a brontosaurus have a long neck? Because it's feet smell.
Did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing the river?
It was three feet deep on average.