Feet

What does a squirrel wear on its feet?
Cashews
How do you keep the snow from giving you cold feet?
Don’t go around BRRfooted!
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
Flat earthers fear 6 feet social distancing could push some people over the edge.
The Helicopter Lesson
The Helicopter Lesson A blonde was taking helicopter lessons. The instructor said, "I'll radio you every 1000 feet to see how you're doing." At 1000 feet, the instructor radioed her and said she was doing great. At 2000 feet, he said she was still doing well. Right before she got to 3000 feet, the propeller stopped, and she twirled to the ground. The instructor ran to where she crash landed and pulled her out of the helicopter. "What went wrong?" The blonde said, "At 2500 feet, I started to get cold, so I turned the big fan off."
An Over Exaggeration
An Over Exaggeration Three men were sitting at a veterans bar talking. One was American, One was English and one was African. At some point, the American said: "Did you know that our air force is so big, that when all our planes are out flying. We can't even see the sun!" "That's nothing!" scoffed the Englishman. "Our Navy is so huge, that if we line up all our boats we can walk on a straight line all the way from England to America without getting wet feet. After a short while the African said: "One day when I was taking a piss in the forest, 14 crows landed on my penis... At the same time." That was when they all realized that maybe, just maybe... They all over exaggerated . The American admitted: "Well, maybe we do see the sun shining through...". And Englishman answered: "And we actually have to swim a bit to reach the American shoreline..." And the African said: "And those 14 crows... Well, they were sitting pretty close together."
How does the man help clean the house? Raising the feet, for the woman to pass the vacuum cleaner on the carpet.
A Desperate Prayer
A Desperate Prayer A grandfather takes his grandchildren to the beach. They’re playing in the sand when suddenly, a massive wave comes and pulls the smallest grandson out into the water. Panicked, the grandfather prays to God. “Oh God, please bring him back! Please let him live, in your mercy. I'll do anything and worship you forever!” Almost immediately, an even bigger wave bursts out of the ocean, setting the little boy down right at his grandfather’s feet. He scoops him up in a huge hug, crying with relief. Then he stares up at the sky and says, “He had a hat.”
Why are rabbits so lucky? They have four rabbit’s feet.
What do you call it when the axe in your hand falls on your feet.
An AXEIDENT.
He was going to sleep in a bucket of ice.
But then he got cold feet.
A blue man gives you a pineapple. A man with a horse for a head gives you a blender. A man with seven feet on each leg gives you a dragonfruit. What do you have?
Schizophrenia
A blue man gives you a pineapple. A man with a horse for a head gives you a blender. A man with seven feet on each leg gives you a dragonfruit. What do you have?
Schizophrenia
Why do blondes wear hooped ear rings. So they have somewhere to put their feet when having se*.
What do you call 10 blondes at the bottom of a pool? Air Pockets What has 12 feet and an IQ of 40? A Blonde-tourage.
My zebra is a rubbish ballet dancer. I think he’s got two left feet.
I hate worms and snakes because they have no feet.
You might say that I am lacktoes intolerant.