Feet Jokes

The Helicopter Lesson A blonde was taking helicopter lessons. The instructor said, "I'll radio you every 1000 feet to see how you're doing." At 1000 feet, the instructor radioed her and said she was doing great. At 2000 feet, he said she was still doing well. Right before she got to 3000 feet, the propeller stopped, and she twirled to the ground. The instructor ran to where she crash landed and pulled her out of the helicopter. "What went wrong?" The blonde said, "At 2500 feet, I started to get cold, so I turned the big fan off."
You know what they say... Big Feet.
An Over Exaggeration Three men were sitting at a veterans bar talking. One was American, One was English and one was African. At some point, the American said: "Did you know that our air force is so big, that when all our planes are out flying. We can't even see the sun!" "That's nothing!" scoffed the Englishman. "Our Navy is so huge, that if we line up all our boats we can walk on a straight line all the way from England to America without getting wet feet. After a short while the African said: "One day when I was taking a piss in the forest, 14 crows landed on my penis... At the same time." That was when they all realized that maybe, just maybe... They all over exaggerated . The American admitted: "Well, maybe we do see the sun shining through...". And Englishman answered: "And we actually have to swim a bit to reach the American shoreline..." And the African said: "And those 14 crows... Well, they were sitting pretty close together."
"You are adorable, mademoiselle. I study your feet with the microscope and your soul with the telescope."
― Victor Hugo, Les Misérables
A Desperate Prayer A grandfather takes his grandchildren to the beach. They’re playing in the sand when suddenly, a massive wave comes and pulls the smallest grandson out into the water. Panicked, the grandfather prays to God. “Oh God, please bring him back! Please let him live, in your mercy. I'll do anything and worship you forever!” Almost immediately, an even bigger wave bursts out of the ocean, setting the little boy down right at his grandfather’s feet. He scoops him up in a huge hug, crying with relief. Then he stares up at the sky and says, “He had a hat.”
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
The ham's on your pillow,
The egg's in your sheet,
The bran muffin's rollin'
Down under your feet,
There's milk in the mattress,
And juice on the spread -
Well, you said that you wanted
Your breakfast in bed.

(Shel Silverstein)
That’s a nice Witch costume, but you won’t be needing the broom anymore, because you’ve already swept me off my feet.
You know what they say about a man with big feet... he wears big shoes.
You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
But it’s what’s in your pants
That I’d like to choose.
“Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet.”

- Colette.
Your feet must be tired, because you’ve been running through my mind all day long.
"I always thought a yard was three feet, then I started mowing the lawn."
- C.E. Cowman
Why don’t werewolf make good dancers?
Because they have two left feet!
You know what they say... Big Feet.
I don’t care if all of the other giants see me as a big joke for filing a restraining order on a guy I’ve got 75 feet on.
Beanstalked is a serious matter.
"I know your feet must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day!"
- Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
How do you know Frankenstein is tired?
He’s dead on his feet.
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