Everywhere Jokes

What do you call an onion monk who is present everywhere? Ommnion!
You're like an exothermic reaction, you spread your hotness everywhere!
Did you hear about the new corduroy pillows? They’re making headlines everywhere!
eople say they never get hungry at the beach
That’s because there’s sand, which is everywhere.
My mother's mother lost her false teeth at the retirement home. We searched the place everywhere but couldn't find them.
We looked in every nook and granny!
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
"It’s easy to meet expenses, everywhere we go, there they are." ~ Anonymus
I wonder why Lenin didn't realize that communism would fail to work. There were so many red flags everywhere.
A bomb goes of in a cheese shop.
You can see da brie everywhere.
A man and his wife are playing Dungeons and Dragons together...
During the man's turn, he rolls his D20 and rolls a 1. Simultaneously, he stubs his toe against the table leg so hard that his toe essentially falls off. Blood everywhere. The wife has to rush them both to the ER.

She's waiting.

She's waiting...

The doctor emerges, and the wife rushes over. "How is my husband? What's his condition?"

The doctor replies: "Critical, miss."
Where did Lisa go during the bombing? Everywhere.
"I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home." – Robert Orben
Maternity ward nurse asked my wife if she needed to go to the bathroom.
She says, "yeah, I could stand to pee."

I said, "No, you should probably still sit so it doesn't get everywhere."
"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies."
What does a man desperate to urinate do in a room full of arrogant people?
Egos everywhere.
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