Maternity ward nurse asked my wife if she needed to go to the bathroom.
She says, "yeah, I could stand to pee."

I said, "No, you should probably still sit so it doesn't get everywhere."
A bomb goes of in a cheese shop.
You can see da brie everywhere.
Where did Lisa go during the bombing? Everywhere.
What do you call a pianist who throws trash everywhere?
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
Did you hear about the new corduroy pillows? They’re making headlines everywhere!
A cheese factory exploded in France...
da brie is everywhere.
Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad? Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it. Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in India, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries. Father: That happens everywhere, son, everywhere.
Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded? De-brie went everywhere!
You're like an exothermic reaction, you spread your hotness everywhere!
A man and his wife are playing Dungeons and Dragons together...
During the man's turn, he rolls his D20 and rolls a 1. Simultaneously, he stubs his toe against the table leg so hard that his toe essentially falls off. Blood everywhere. The wife has to rush them both to the ER.

She's waiting.

She's waiting...

The doctor emerges, and the wife rushes over. "How is my husband? What's his condition?"

The doctor replies: "Critical, miss."
eople say they never get hungry at the beach
That’s because there’s sand, which is everywhere.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.