What is a robot’s favorite kind of music?
Heavy metal.
What do you call a musician with problems?
A trebled man.
How do you get a trombonist off your doorstep?
Pay them for the pizza.
How many Folk Singers does it take to change a light bulb?
One to change it and 5 to sing about how good the old one was.
What rock band has four guys that don’t sing?
Mount Rushmore.
How do you know when a drummer is at your door?
He speeds up when he’s knocking.
What do you say when a kazoo player sneezes?
Kazoontite.
What do you call clean music?
A soap opera!
What’s Giuseppe Verdi’s favorite way to get around the airport?
La Travelator.
Middle C, E flat, and G walk into a bar.
“Sorry,” the bartender says. “We don’t serve minors.”
Why do bagpipe players walk when they play?
To get away from the noise.
Why can’t skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
Accordion to one study, people don’t notice when you replace any given word with the name of a musical instrument, but I don’t believe that tuba true.
What’s the slang term for a harpsichord?
A Baroque man’s piano.
Why did the tortilla chip start dancing?
Because they put on the salsa.
A musician told me he was going to hit me with the neck of his guitar.
I replied, “Is that a fret?”
What has a neck but no head?
A bass.
Who’s there?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
Wow! I didn’t know you could yodel!
What do you get when you put a radio in the fridge?
Cool music.
What do you say to the musician playing the triangle in the orchestra?
Thank you for every ting.
Why did the grandma sit in the rocking chair with her rollerblades on?
Because she wanted to rock and roll.
Why was the musician arrested?
She got in treble.
What type of music are balloons afraid of?
Pop music.
Why did the chicken join the band?
Because he had the drumsticks.
What song do vampires hate?
“You Are My Sunshine.”
What do you call a cow that can play a musical instrument?
A moo-sician.
What is Beethoven’s favorite fruit?
Ba-na-na-naaaaa.
Why do fluorescent lights hum?
Because they forgot the words.
What's the difference between a banjo and an onion?
Nobody cries when you chop up a banjo.
Want to hear the joke about a staccato?
Never mind — it’s too short.
What’s a pirate’s favorite instrument?
The guit-arrr!
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
What’s the definition of perfect pitch?
When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.
Why couldn’t the athlete listen to her music?
She broke the record.
What is a mummy’s favorite kind of music?
Rap.
A while ago, my friend told me not to listen to loud music.
I haven’t heard from that guy since.
Why did the music teacher go up the ladder during music class?
To reach the high notes.
What do you call a musical insect?
A humbug.
What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat minor.
What is Beethoven doing now?
De-composing.
Why is a piano so hard to open?
Because the keys are on the inside.
I wrote a song about a tortilla chip.
Actually, it's more like a wrap.
What did the robbers take from the music store?
The lute.
How do you make a bandstand?
Take away their chairs.
What is the most musical part of your body?
Your nose because you can blow and pick it.
Me and my friends are in a band called “Duvet”. We’re a cover band.
A young child says to his mother, "Mom, when I grow up I'd like to be a musician." She replies, "Well honey, you know you can't do both."
Why didn’t the bouncer let the quavers into the bar?
Because they were slurring.
How many guitar players does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Twelve - one to do it, and eleven to stand around and say, "Phhhwt! I can do that!"
There are so many jokes about a certain composer…
I could make you a Liszt.
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