It’s so hot that hot water now comes out of both taps.
It's so hot out that I cleaned my fridge just so I could hang out in my fridge for a while.
It’s so hot I saw a cop chasing a thief and they were both walking.
It’s so hot I saw two hydrants fight over a dog.
It’s so hot I wish had got the cloth seats instead of the leather ones.
It’s so hot the trees are whistling for the dogs.
It’s so hot granny broke wind just to have a little breeze.
It’s so hot the birds are using oven mitts to pull worms out of the ground.
It’s so hot that Tabasco sauce tastes mild.
It’s so hot Adam and Eve traded their fig leaves for ice cubes.
It’s so hot that I’m using Celsius instead of Fahrenheit just to have a lower number.
It’s so hot you can pull a leaf off a tree and iron with it.
It’s so hot fire ants are really on fire.
It's so hot outside the ice cream man just change the sign on the side of his truck to "cream."
It’s so hot outside I just saw two hobbits throw a ring off my roof.
It’s so hot the catfish are already fried when you catch them.
It’s so hot I saw the Devil in Wal-Mart buying an air conditioner.
It’s so hot the Statue of Liberty was asked to lower her arm.
It’s so hot all chocolate is hot chocolate.
It’s so hot all the sand on the beach is now glass.
It was so hot that the soles of my shoes melted.
It’s so hot I saw a heatwave and I waved back.
It’s so hot Optimus Prime transformed into an air conditioner.
It's so hot that all the water buffalo at the zoo evaporated.
It’s so hot you need a spatula to remove your clothing.
It’s so hot polar bears are wearing sunscreen.
It’s so hot that the only waves at the beach were heatwaves.
It’s so hot you realize asphalt has a liquid state.
It’s so hot that my kite crashed and burned.
It’s so hot chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
It's so hot that I went to hell just to cool off.
It was so hot that my gold jewelry melted.
It’s so hot that corn on the stalks starts popping.
It’s so hot that you can’t make a chili dog.
It’s so hot everyone is wearing sweat pants.
It’s so hot even the artificial flowers are dying.
It’s so hot that farmers are feeding ice to the chickens so they won’t lay boiled eggs.
It’s so hot that I renamed my pig “Bacon.”
It’s so hot I got condensation on my backside from the water in the toilet bowl.
It’s so hot that the oven got jealous.
It’s so hot that you can poach eggs in a pool.
It’s so hot I started putting ice cubes in my waterbed.
It’s so hot even my wife’s heart is melting.
It’s so hot that the clams were already steamed when I dug them up.
It's so hot, I saw a guy with a sign that said, "Will work for shade."
It’s so hot ice pops are melting in the freezer.
It’s so hot I saw a squirrel picking up nuts with potholders.
It was so hot that I poured boiling water on myself to cool down.
It’s so hot that I have taken to leaving the toilet seat up just to get those chilling, icy stares from my wife.
It’s so hot Jehovah’s Witnesses started telemarketing.