It’s so hot that you can poach eggs in a pool.
It’s so hot that Tabasco sauce tastes mild.
It’s so hot I bought a loaf of bread and by the time I got home, it was toast.
It’s so hot the Statue of Liberty was asked to lower her arm.
It’s so hot I saw a heatwave and I waved back.
It’s so hot even the artificial flowers are dying.
It's so hot I saw an Amish guy buy an air conditioner.
It’s so hot the best parking place is determined by the shade instead of the distance.
It's so hot out that my sweat is sweating.
It’s so hot granny broke wind just to have a little breeze.
It’s so hot the frozen pizza I bought at the grocery store was ready to eat by the time I got home.
It's so hot that you can fry an egg on the sidewalk!
It’s so hot that the oven got jealous.
It’s so hot that my chocolate milk is now hot cocoa.
It’s so hot all the sand on the beach is now glass.
It’s so hot I got condensation on my backside from the water in the toilet bowl.
It’s so hot you can wash and dry your clothes at the same time.
It’s so hot Optimus Prime transformed into an air conditioner.
It’s so hot that corn on the stalks starts popping.
It’s so hot, when the temperature drops below 95 I start to feel chilly.
It’s so hot I saw a cop chasing a thief and they were both walking.
It’s so hot that my sprinkler released steam.
It’s so hot my campfire lit itself.
It’s so hot polar bears are wearing sunscreen.
It’s so hot I saw two hydrants fight over a dog.
It’s so hot your clothes iron themselves.
It’s so hot that I have taken to leaving the toilet seat up just to get those chilling, icy stares from my wife.
It's so hot out that I cleaned my fridge just so I could hang out in my fridge for a while.
It’s so hot Adam and Eve traded their fig leaves for ice cubes.
It’s so hot they installed a fan in the debt ceiling.
It’s so hot McDonald’s is frying burgers on parked cars.
It’s so hot I almost called my ex so I could be around something shady.
It’s so hot fire ants are really on fire.
It’s so hot chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
It’s so hot that hot water now comes out of both taps.
It’s so hot all chocolate is hot chocolate.
It’s so hot even my wife’s heart is melting.
It’s so hot you can pull a leaf off a tree and iron with it.
It’s so hot that the clams were already steamed when I dug them up.
It’s so hot that farmers are feeding ice to the chickens so they won’t lay boiled eggs.
It’s so hot firecrackers light themselves.
It's so hot that all the water buffalo at the zoo evaporated.
It’s so hot the cows are producing evaporated milk.
It was so hot that the soles of my shoes melted.