It’s so cold that when we baked the frozen pizza in the oven for 25 minutes, it was still frozen.
It's so cold that people started chipping their teeth on soup!
It's so cold that when cows are milked, ice cream comes out.
It’s so cold you could rob me with a bucket of water right now!!
It's so cold that you have to open the fridge to heat the house.
It’s so cold the school nurse has to use a steamer to remove the instruments from the lips of the brass band members after the concert.
It’s so cold that even the ATM shows minus.
It’s so cold that even the snowmen are wearing sweaters!
It’s so cold mailmen watch out for both dogs and polar bears.
It’s so cold refrigerators are redundant.
It’s so cold the police told a robber to freeze, and he really did.
It’s so cold our table cutlery now includes a saw.
It was so cold firemen couldn’t get the people out of the burning building because it was warm.
It’s so cold every kind of cereal in the cupboard is frosted – including the boxes!
It's so cold that our words froze in midair — we had to put them in a frying pan to thaw them so we could hear what we were talking about.
It’s so cold I had to eat ice cream just to warm up.
It’s so cold that the snowflakes froze in the air and birds used them as stepping stones to get from tree to tree.
It's so cold that people look forward to getting a fever.
It’s so cold we have to put skates on just to move around the house.
It’s so cold my money turned into cold, hard cash.
It’s so cold Levi Strauss started making electric jeans.
It’s so cold the local graveyard put heaters out for the ghosts.
It’s so cold our hats have turned into ice caps.
It’s so cold that Grandpa’s teeth are chattering – in the glass!
It’s so cold that Jack Frost changed his name to Jack Froze.
It's so cold that the band changed their name to Red Cold Chili Peppers.
It’s so cold that bed bugs promised not to bite you as long as they can snuggle in your pajamas.
It’s so cold I left Starbuck with mocha lattes and by the time I got to the car I had fudgicles.
It’s so cold pickpockets are sticking their hands in strangers’ pockets just to keep them warm.
It’s so cold I saw Superman taking a taxi.
It’s so cold mum used a saw to serve us milk.
It’s so cold it’s colder than any room packed with ex-wives.
It’s so cold that even the polar bears started drinking hot chocolate.
It’s so cold the ice cubes in my drink have goosebumps.
It’s so cold dogs are wearing cats.
It's so cold that the optician was giving away free ice scrapers with every new pair of eyeglasses.
It's so cold that trees are chopping themselves into firewood.
It’s so cold that I’m breathing out snowflakes!
It’s so cold pet stores sell hamsters, gerbils, and penguins.
It’s so cold that I have to wave a blow-torch in front of my nose just to have a sneeze.
It’s so cold we had to salt the hallway.
It’s so cold that when I needed an anesthetic, the dentist told me to stick my head out the hospital window.
It’s so cold that the Statue of Liberty put her torch inside her dress!
It’s so cold we had to chisel the dog off a lamp post.
It’s so cold cops are tasering themselves.
It’s so cold I saw a gangsta with his pants pulled up.
It’s so cold my hat wrapped itself in a scarf.
It’s so cold we have to carry around hammers and chisels so we could get out of our clothes!
It's so cold hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs!
It’s so cold the rats in the alley were bribing the cats for a snuggle.
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