It’s so cold I swapped my pillow for a grill.
It’s so cold it’s colder than any room packed with ex-wives.
It’s so cold we have to carry around hammers and chisels so we could get out of our clothes!
It’s so cold my shadow ended up freezing on the sidewalk.
It’s so cold pickpockets are sticking their hands in strangers’ pockets just to keep them warm.
It’s so cold you could rob me with a bucket of water right now!!
It was so cold the mice were playing ice hockey in the toilet bowl.
It’s so cold I had to eat ice cream just to warm up.
It was so cold firemen couldn’t get the people out of the burning building because it was warm.
It’s so cold refrigerators are redundant.
It’s so cold washroom attendants have started putting salt boxes next to the toilets.
It's so cold that when cows are milked, ice cream comes out.
It’s so cold fish were jumping out of the ice holes and straight into the frying pan.
It’s so cold I tried to take out the garbage, but it refused to go.
It’s so cold we had to stop eating with metal cutlery. Some people walked around for days with spoons or forks stuck to their tongues!
It's so cold that people started chipping their teeth on soup!
It's so cold that the rock rattling around in your shoe is your toe.
It’s so cold we have to put skates on just to move around the house.
It’s so cold we had to punch a hole in the air just to get outside.
It’s so cold the school nurse has to use a steamer to remove the instruments from the lips of the brass band members after the concert.
It's so cold that I’m drinking hot sauce instead of coffee.
It’s so cold the police told a robber to freeze, and he really did.
It’s so cold I actually enjoyed someone spilling hot coffee in my lap.
It's so cold that the optician was giving away free ice scrapers with every new pair of eyeglasses.
It's so cold that you have to open the fridge to heat the house.
It’s so cold the anticipation of waiting for my ketchup to come out of the bottle lasted three months.
It’s so cold I left Starbuck with mocha lattes and by the time I got to the car I had fudgicles.
It was so cold that I saw a Greyhound bus and the dog was riding on the inside.
It's so cold that Starbucks started serving coffee on a stick.
It’s so cold that when we baked the frozen pizza in the oven for 25 minutes, it was still frozen.
It’s so cold we had to salt the hallway.
It’s so cold sheep were demanding their wool back.
It’s so cold mum used a saw to serve us milk.
It's so cold that you have to break the smoke off your chimney.
It’s so cold the aquarium didn’t need to use glass. On the downside, the fish were motionless.
It’s so cold that Jack Frost changed his name to Jack Froze.
It’s so cold that the snowflakes froze in the air and birds used them as stepping stones to get from tree to tree.
It’s so cold my hat wrapped itself in a scarf.
It’s so cold the cosmetics counter at the local department store started selling cream for goosebumps.
It’s so cold cops are tasering themselves.
It’s so cold we were afraid to spit because it can ricochet.
It’s so cold that even the snowmen are wearing sweaters!
It’s so cold the ice cubes in my drink have goosebumps.
It’s so cold we had to chisel the dog off a lamp post.
It’s so cold dogs are wearing cats.
It’s so cold travel agencies are advertising tropical holidays to Alaska.
It's so cold hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs!
It’s so cold that when I dialed the emergency number, there was a recording that said to call back in spring.
It was so cold when I turned on the shower, I got hail.
It’s so cold that even the ATM shows minus.
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