It’s so cold the flames of our fire froze.
It's so cold that the band changed their name to Red Cold Chili Peppers.
It’s so cold we had to salt the hallway.
It's so cold that lawyers have their hands in their own pockets.
It’s so cold we have to carry around hammers and chisels so we could get out of our clothes!
It’s so cold kids are using a new excuse to stay up late: “But Mom, my pajamas haven’t thawed out yet!”
It’s so cold pet stores sell hamsters, gerbils, and penguins.
It’s so cold you could rob me with a bucket of water right now!!
It’s so cold that even the snowmen are wearing sweaters!
It’s so cold we had to chisel the dog off a lamp post.
It’s so cold that bed bugs promised not to bite you as long as they can snuggle in your pajamas.
It was so cold firemen couldn’t get the people out of the burning building because it was warm.
It’s so cold my money turned into cold, hard cash.
It’s so cold we had to punch a hole in the air just to get outside.
It was so cold that I saw a Greyhound bus and the dog was riding on the inside.
It’s so cold that the Statue of Liberty put her torch inside her dress!
It’s so cold travel agencies are advertising tropical holidays to Alaska.
It’s so cold that I’m breathing out snowflakes!
It’s so cold mum used a saw to serve us milk.
It’s so cold the ice cubes in my drink have goosebumps.
It’s so cold I actually enjoyed someone spilling hot coffee in my lap.
It’s so cold that Jack Frost changed his name to Jack Froze.
It’s so cold the anticipation of waiting for my ketchup to come out of the bottle lasted three months.
It's so cold that you might have to chop up the piano for firewood (although you’ll only get two chords).
It’s so cold people with spiked hair were being arrested for carrying around a dangerous weapon.
It’s so cold that I have to wave a blow-torch in front of my nose just to have a sneeze.
It’s so cold that Grandpa’s teeth are chattering – in the glass!
It’s so cold refrigerators are redundant.
It’s so cold fish were jumping out of the ice holes and straight into the frying pan.
It's so cold that the rock rattling around in your shoe is your toe.
It's so cold that when cows are milked, ice cream comes out.
It’s so cold mailmen watch out for both dogs and polar bears.
It’s so cold teenagers began to worry about getting goosebumps rather than acne.
It’s so cold the rats in the alley were bribing the cats for a snuggle.
It’s so cold I saw an Amish guy buying an electric blanket.
It’s so cold the school nurse has to use a steamer to remove the instruments from the lips of the brass band members after the concert.
It’s so cold I left Starbuck with mocha lattes and by the time I got to the car I had fudgicles.
It’s so cold the cosmetics counter at the local department store started selling cream for goosebumps.
It’s so cold ice cubes are coming out of my tap.
It's so cold that you have to break the smoke off your chimney.
It’s so cold washroom attendants have started putting salt boxes next to the toilets.
It’s so cold I saw Superman taking a taxi.
It’s so cold that when we baked the frozen pizza in the oven for 25 minutes, it was still frozen.
It’s so cold chickens are rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!
It’s so cold I had to eat ice cream just to warm up.
It's so cold that trees are chopping themselves into firewood.
It’s so cold I walk to school with a toaster in my pants.
It’s so cold sheep were demanding their wool back.
It’s so cold my mail shattered when I tried to open it.
It’s so cold we were afraid to spit because it can ricochet.